I'm Yours, Alpha

Alpha of Mine -Chapter 4

I've never understood love. I've never been loved. Love is foreign to me. If I were asked to give my own definition of love I would come up blank. So imagine me, an unwanted rogue, being surrounded by people who cared and showed that one thing I've never had. They showed love.

After Ronnie left, I became aware that i was still sitting on Evans lap. I thought about just getting up and moving but i didn't want a repeat of what happened earlier. Silence enveloped the room and I don't know about him but to me it felt uncomfortable. I was sitting in a random guys lap. A really hot random guys lap. I peeked at him from the corner of my eye and I hastily looked away for her was staring intently at me. My felt my face flushed in embarrassment. I cleared my throat loudly, hoping he'd take the hint that i wanted to be let down. I knew I looked horrible and probably looked even worse and as strange as this may sound I didn't want him to see me in all my horrid glory up close. I don't know why I cared, but I did. I felt extremely self-conscious and I wanted nothing more than a hot shower. 

Evan blinked a few times before he realized what I wanted and carefully set me on the bed next to him. I folded my legs beneath me and took a deep breath while trying to build up enough courage to ask him to use his shower.   I mentally counted to three and looked up. My eyes collided with his instantly and whatever I planned to say escaped my mind. I was completely lost for word. 

Evan was beautiful. In every sense of the word, he was beautiful. He stared at me just as I was staring at him. His semi-long black hair had escaped the binding that he had in and was now cascading off his shoulder. I had a strange urge to reach out and tuck it back but i resisted. His skin had an irresistible tan and I had a quick flash of me running my tongue down his hot flesh. At this thought I immediately felt a hot blush work it was down my body. I looked away in absolute embarrassment. Where the hell did that come from?! I've never thought of something like that in all my life. i cleared my throat awkwardly and peeked at him from under my lashes. 

"Can I please use your shower," I asked timidly, my voice barely above a whisper. I was prepared for him to say no but I asked anyway just to be sure. It was silent for a while and i wondered for a second if he had heard me until he smiled and slowly reached his hand out as if to touch me. I immediately flinched back. I couldn't help it. Although my wolf was telling me he wouldn't hurt us, i just couldn't bring myself relax around him. I couldn't trust him. I was a rogue, he was an alpha. He could kill me without  a second thought. His eyes narrowed a bit at my reaction and a fleeting look of sadness passed through his eyes before any emotion was swept clean from his gaze. 

"Of course. You don't need to ask Hailie." His voice came out a bit husky and he cleared it before continuing on. "You aren't in any position to care for yourself so if it's okay with you, my sister will assist you." 

I smiled at the thought of being able to take a shower until the last part of what he said sunk in. Assist? His sister? Wait, he had a sister? My inner turmoil must have showed on my face because he spoke again. 

"Don't worry, she's just going to help you since you can't stand and function on your own." He looked afraid as though I might reject his proposal but I didn't care if Santa Clause himself had to help me. All i wanted was a shower so I nodded my head quickly, letting him know it was alright. 

He smiled at my agreement and went to get his sister. I stayed put, envisioning the hot water that I'd soon be under until realization hit me. I didn't have any clothes. I looked down at the tattered rags that were hanging off my body and i visibly shuddered at the thought of putting them on my clean body. I felt like crying out loud at this new discovery. No clothes equals no shower and I wanted a shower right now more than I've ever wanted on in my entire life. Tears formed and I quickly wiped them away as i heard footsteps and muffled voices from behind the door. I tensed until I smelled Evans scent. It smelled like toffee and cream and it smelled so good I wondered what he tasted like. I mentally slapped myself for that last thought. What was wrong with me? These thoughts just didn't seem tot have an end. I straightened up as the doorknob turned and in walked Evan and behind him a short , petite redhead. She was smiling hugely and her eyes was dancing. She eyed me with unconfined excitement and I briefly wondered about her mental state. No one smiles at a rogue like that. Why isn't she disgusted and mad that she had to deal with me? I swear these people were so confusing. She took a few stepd toward me and then stopped once Evan cleared his throat. She rolled her eyes in his direction and then looked back at me and smiled hugely.