Her Faults

Chapter 10

The church is gigantic. I take little peaks at the people coming in, updating Lizzy every few seconds. She doesn't seemed worried about that, more concerned with her wedding vows. They wrote their own and I'm not too surprised about her nervousness. In high school, she was always scared to turn in her written exam because she thought it wasn't good enough. I've always been used to things not being good enough and I'm glad she's the opposite. Her mother has tears in her eyes as she stares at her once, little girl. Jealousy pangs at my heart and I try to ignore the sulking of my on problems.
Me and the other bridesmaids are rushed out and I head to see Luke. I listen to him curse at his stupid bowtie before announcing my presence.
"Oh, Danielle. Lizzy usually does this shit..I-can't even. Why is she marry-"
"Its okay, I'll help. Calm down."
I never realized Luke could be a little nervous about everything. He's seemed so calm lately. His mom glides in like a goddess, throwing me a smile I've never seen on her.
"Honey, its time. Get out there." She says, fixing his hair a little.
"Okay mom. Stop, she likes my hair like this."
I laugh and she does too. Luke leaves us in the room and I'm nervous about going out there.
"I always thought it would be my oldest marrying you but it seems he's lost it." She says, letting her eyes fall on me. I look at my high-heeled feet.
"I thought so too..."
"Give it time, he'll run back but the question is, will you accept him."
She grabs my hand, pulling out the room but my thoughts linger on her words. She's smart but I think she let the excitement of today confuse her. Joe hasn't even made that attempt. He can't.
The music begins and I put on my game face.

I watch faces as they watch Lizzy walk down the isle. She looks beautiful, even with tears in her eyes. Luke wipes his eyes, smiling at me. Joe is right behind him but he isn't looking directly at anything but more of in space. My eyes scan the pew for Lana but to only find Mark..and my parents? My mom gives me a tight lipped smile but I don't smile back. She backstabbed me.
I shake the thoughts away and focus on the vows of Luke and Lizzy. I guess some people do get there forever.

⊙

I instantly went from bridesmaid to photographer the whole night. It gives me a chance to be alone with my thoughts and they seem to be running everything tonight. Any time I see my mom and David come toward me, I head in the opposite direction. This should be me getting married and instead I'm washing the scratches and bumps on my heart.
"You need this?" Mark asks, passing me a beverage.
"Thank you. Are you having fun?" I ask, taking a sit away from everyone.
"I was, but I need to go. This isn't my type of environment and I have work in the morning. My flight is in two hours and I just wanted to say goodbye."
I stand up and kiss his cheek twice, watching red stain his face.
"Thanks for coming. I'll be catching a flight back tomorrow."
"Y-yeah. No problem. I left gifts on their doorstep."
"See ya."
"Mhm."
I watch him make his way out of the crazy wedding crowd, glancing back every two seconds. I don't know what possessed me to kiss him but it didn't make me feel anything.
"You going to avoid me all night?"
I roll my eyes, turning around.
"I'm working." I mutter to the woman I once knew. She tries to smile but it looks more like a crack in a rock.
"Just five minutes."
I want to shake my head no but I also want to hear her out.
"This is supposed to be my wedding."
I can't face her so I look at my camera, the one thing I can depend on; financially anyways.
"I'm s-sorry."
I hear the tears in her sentence but I can't comfort her. No one comforted me all these years, Dad tried but love isn't his greatest accomplishment.
"I'm your mother, Danielle! You can't stay mad at me forever. You have a two year old brother..."
I spin around and this time I want to hurt feelings. How could she have a baby by him and not tell me. No words leave my mouth and I can only shake my head, backing further away from her.
"Aren't you lucky." I spit before leaving her to soak in her pain. I wonder if she mentioned it to Dad or were we not important enough to know. Lizzy and Luke are nearly drunk as the dance around the floor, smiling and laughing. I wish I was as happy as them. I snap photos of them, staying far away so Lizzy doesn't try to drag me in. A white limo pulls to the side, honking the horn. Everyone runs out to it, following Luke and Lizzy. I snap more pictures, wiping faint years from my eyes. Lizzy turns toward me, smiling bigger than ever, "My best friend..thank you. I love you so much."
She giggles, hugging me tightly. I hug her back and someone snatches my camera to take a picture. Luke rushes her to the car and we all watch them ride away; laughing and clapping.
I walk around, looking for the person who stole my camera.
Eventually I find it laying on a table way in the back, no damage done.
"Thank God, don't ever get away from me like that." I mutter, downing my drink.
"You may have gone insane."
Joe.
I ignore him and try to clean my lenses off.
"You ignoring me just makes things more difficult for you." He says, sitting down.
"What do you want."
"Danielle, I know I'm a fuck up and I don't deserve you but shit..I miss you."
My heart thumps a little but I push it away, "Where's Lana? You ditch her for me again."
"I was trying to make you jealous. They told me you were coming and I didn't know if you were alone...so I called her up."
I shake my head. None of this makes sense.
"That's stupid."
"I'm stupid. So damn stupid for not chasing you and showing you I really love you."
My head drops and the tears fall. What is happening right now?
"Hey, don't cry, baby."
He pulls me closer to him and I can smell all his manliness. Alcohol free, unlike me.
I stare into his eyes, waiting for something but I don't know what.
"I still..I-you mean a lot to me." He stutters. "Say something, Danielle."
I don't know what to say so I smash my lips against his, waiting for that spark of electricity. It never comes, just a kiss full of emotion and pain.
I pull away and stand up.
"I waited too long for you..I was alone, all this time. It's too late."
I turn my back to him and let my legs carry me away. Did I just turn down the love of my life?