Rules to Falling in love with your Best Friend

Rule #8

Okay so this might seen extremely contradictory buuuutttt Rule #8 is... Think about it. And yeah I know last rule was don't think but really this is important. You know how proximity gives You rose colored glasses? How just being near someone forever all the time can make them seem more or less awesome than they really are? Well now is the time to really sit down and think about why you're in love with your best friend. I know it's a pain and it hurts but really think about it. It may help you figure things out.
So coming back from a weekend at the beach with no drama is definitely not fun when you have to go right back to school.. Keeva is waiting at my locker in the morning. "So how was the beach?" I can see she's really trying to keep the edge from  her voice I sigh internally. I mean I know it hurt her but she doesn't know how much she hurts me everyday I needed to not hurt for a weekend. Anyway that's my own fault. I smile at her "It was great." I think about how we fell asleep holding hands and I can feel my face heating up. "What's.."
And whatever Keeva was about to say is forgotten when I feel someone hug tackle me from behind. "Hey Anya." I laugh. "Hi sparrow." I can hear the smirk in her voice as she smiles against my shoulder. She pops her head up to rest on my shoulder as she says, "Hi Keeva!" "Hey." Is her clipped reply.
The bell rings and we start to walk to English. I am slightly startled when I feel someone grabbing my hand. And instantly I know it's Anya. We link pinkies and carry on our merry way to class.
All day I kept wondering about it. And by it I mean being in love with Keeva. Why am I in love with her? Since when did I start feeling like this... When I get home I still don't have an answer.
I walk into the kitchen to find my mom. Talking to her always makes me feel better. "What's up buttercup?" My mom asks when I walk through the doorway. I grin, "stuff." She laughs, "Alright kid, spill." I sigh, "How do you know when you're in love with someone for real. Like not just proximity or whatever?" She raises her eyebrow "well well well, starting with the hard questions huh?" I can feel my face heating up as I nod. She smiles that smile she gets when she thinks about my dad. "Well honestly I can't give you a straight up answer." I open my mouth to ask her what that even means when she continues. "Love is different for everyone and everyone can feel different types of love for different people. I love your dad but I don't want him back you know?" I nod. "Sometimes our brains like to make us believe we love people because they are there for us, sometimes it's because we think they need it. And love like the kind in books and movies is very rarely how it all pans out. Real love is when you understand someone and even though you may be different you work well together and when things get tough you work with each other to find a solution. It's sticking it out through the good and the bad. It's not really a feeling although it starts as one. Love is choosing one person everyday all over again." I am silent as I process all this. "Does that make sense?"
"Yeah, yeah it does. Thank you." I smile as I wrap her in a hug. She squeezes me. "I love you." I laugh. "I love you too."
I finish my homework and lay down on my bed. I stare at the ceiling trying to sort through all my thoughts. Do I really love Keeva. I know she's my best friend and I would do anything for her but I don't think that I would choose her everyday I mean I didn't choose her to go to the beach with me. And is love really supposed to hurt this much?
I am snapped out of my thoughts by my phone ringing. I answer it without looking,"Hello" "Are you okay? You seemed a bit out of it today." I smile as Anya's voice slows my racing thoughts. "I'm just confused a bit." "Do you wanna talk about it?" "Not yet." "That's okay I'll be here if you ever want to though." I smile. "Thanks Anya." "No prob Bob." I grin. "So what's up?" "Nothing really just sitting in my room." She laughs and I join in. "No way me too!" "We are connected." She says giggling. "Like iron man and that little boy." " Omg I love that part!!" I say remembering how he drives off. "We need to have another movie marathon." Anya says. "Yeah!" I totally agree. "This time at my house. I'm done unpacking." I get excited, "Really? I get to see your house!" Anya laughs,"It's not that exciting silly." I smile,"It is to me, I don't like not knowing and now I get to see your room. Plus rooms can tell a lot about a person." I hear her smirk as she says, "Oh so now you're gonna analyze my room styling choices?" I laugh, "Of course!" She laughs, "You're goofy. Well I've got to get off the phone my dad is making faces at me." I smile trying to picture it, I can't. "Okay, see you tomorrow!" She replies, "I'll miss you until then." I find myself saying, "Me too." Before hanging up.
I sit on the bed and stare at the phone in my hands and I find that my statement is true, I will miss Anya until I see her again. I put the phone up and lay back down. I wonder if she means it as much as I just realized I do. I get a pang in my chest when I have a doubt that she might not. A question begins to niggle at the back of my brain how do I feel about Anya?
I shake my head to clear it. I need to sleep. I have school tomorrow and therefore no time to think about love and feelings anymore. A quick jolt of anxiety flows through me when I realize I will eventually have to face my thoughts. But not tonight brain. Not tonight. I close my eyes and will myself to sleep.