Chapter 1

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I woke up in my bed with a hangover. I grabbed my head with one hand and pushed myself up slowly with the other. Slowly, I crawled out of bed and down the hall to the bathroom.  I stepped into the shower and let the warm water caress my body.

First shampoo, then conditioner, then body wash. The order of my shower every day. I hopped out of the shower and wrapped my towel around me and made my way to my room to get dressed. Jean shorts that were bleached in a couple spots and a dark blue crop top. I brushed my hair as I dried it so it came out straight until the end when it curled a bit.

I walked downstairs and grabbed my backpack off the chair before walking out the door, "Mom I'm off to school!"

Down the street, take a left, walk past the three streets going off main street before taking a right and arriving at the school. The way I've been taking since the 7th grade when I graduated from elementary school. I'm a Junior now.

Once I got to school I got a series of stares all giving me bright smiles, though I could see that they were fake. I walked to my locker and grabbed my books before making my way to my friends.

"Why is everyone staring at me?" I asked.

"No reason," Amanda said with a slight smile as she texted someone.

"Oh, you good?" I asked motioning to her phone.

"Yea let's go," She said as we made our way to our first-hour class, reading.

Amanda's P.O.V.

I watched Violet walked into the school from my locker. She looked happy like nothing happened last night.

Right away everyone was staring at her, which made her give everyone a weird look. She walked to her locker so I took the chance to text everyone in the school.

"I don't think she knows about her mom. She did drink a lot last night, so let's not be the ones to break it to her."

Violet walked up to me and Teressa before I could send it.

"Why is everyone staring at me?" She asks which really told me she didn't remember.

"No reason,"  I said. I hated lying to her but sometimes I just had to, but I never was good at it. Lucky for me, she didn't notice my lie.

"Oh, you good?" She asked motioning to my phone.

"Yea," I said as I turned the screen off and put it in my back pocket. Soon Violet, Teressa, and I made our way to our first-hour class which we shared.

Mr. Rodgers class was not the best class in the world.  He was always picky. Everything had to be done in a certain way. You had to take notes a certain way, discuss things a certain way, jeez you even had to ask questions a certain way. It was his way or no way. And if you didn't do it his way, you would get on the list. Once you get so many strikes, you get written up and have to spend the day after school in detention.

I really don't think he even is allowed to do that, but most of us listen to it because of it because who the hell wants to spend the afternoon with the principle.

We walked into the class and sat in our seats while we waited for Mr. Rodgers to arrive in the class. We all talked quietly before he walked in and we all turned to the front of the class with our hand folded in front of us and our backs as straight as a pencil.

"Good morning class, please get out your book and turn to page 53," He said. We all did what he commanded as the long class started.

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Violet's P.O.V.

School had ended and I was heading to the club, being that I forgot my purse there.

I entered the club and it was just about bone- dry. There was a couple day drinkers here plus Tony and the other bartenders. Then there was me.

"Tony, you got my purse?" I yelled as I walked over to the bar. He pulled my purse out from under the counter and handed it to me.

"Hey, sorry about your mom," He said as I grabbed the purse.

"What about my mom?" I asked.

"You don't remember? Weren't you the one to find her?" He asked.

"What? Find her where?" I replied.

"In your guys' car in a ditch?" He answered.

"Wait, my moms, gone?" I mumbled, feeling my lip tremble.

Tony then grabbed a shot glass and filled it. I grabbed it before he could hand it to me and downed it quickly.

"Just give me the bottle," I said grabbing the bottle from him and pouring some back into the glass.

One after another, I downed shot after shot. But nothing happened. The memories came rushing back to me. Me seeing the car on the side of the road. Amanda's car coming to an abrupt stop. Me running to the side of the car and seeing her head lodged in the window.

I dropped the bottle and the glass, just about unaffected from the shots I just downed and ran home.

"Dad?" I cried.

"What honey?" he called.

"Where is Mom," I said.

"She's in all of our hearts," he answered. My knees buckled when the truth came. The tears would not stop. I just sat in the kitchen, crying my eyes dry.

If it wasn't for me and my partying, I could be talking to my mom right now.

It's my fault.


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