Unveiled: You Don't Know Me

Everything Be Damned

I hate it when those crystal tears of icy sadness

Suddenly turn into flaming sputterings of burning profanity.

I hate when the redness that colored my cheeks

(Because I had been crying and sniffling quietly)

Suddenly turns scarlet in the blinding light of hate and anger.

This is the "me" that no one ever sees;

The one that wants to scream and break things

Because of all the built up emotions that haunt,

Like a vengeful ghost that doesn't want to move on

Maybe it's the genetics from a drug-addict mother

And her drunken outbursts when she was under the weather,

Or perhaps I take after my father who died from sickly depression;

A belt in the closet was what sucked the very last breath from him.

Even my grandfather took off his life-giving oxygen mask;

He died from tiredness of living and a massive heart attack.

They all would have lived if they could of just held on,

But now I'm alone because they're all too far gone

I hate feeling the burning torch of anger inside me;

Everything turns hot at the touch of my dancing fingertips,

And my bubbling stream of tears turns to boiling words of hate,

While my soft, brown eyes turn hard and unforgiving

When I look at my family because they're not taking care of me.

This is the "me" that no one even knows.

Ha! But they thought I was all honey and oats.

I'm so sick of pretending that I'm not who I am;

So I show myself here; everything be damned.

***Sidenote: I'm talking about biological family here. I'm adopted.