Unveiled: You Don't Know Me

Inhibitions

I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!

I give up, I have no motivation.

I'm tired of the slamming of doors

In my face when I give my full attention

To the things that I'm trying to do

But it doesn't make a difference,

Because I try so hard but I still lose,

And everything I dream and commence

Just seems to fall to pieces on the ground,

And I'm SO SICK of putting effort

Into things that just make my head pound

Without the satisfaction of finishing what I start,

And I swear, I spend hours trying to understand

Things that just go right over my head;

But it's weighing me down so much I can't even stand,

And in the mornings I'd just assume stay in bed,

Because WHAT'S THE POINT OF TRYING

When you work yourself to the ground

Just to feel like your life is passing

Because the answer just can't be found.

I sit for hours trying to find the solution

To things that don't even make sense,

And my parents are worried about my education

And the fact that the bad grades no longer make me feel so tense,

Because honestly I DON'T GIVE ONE LITTLE FUCK ANYMORE!

My grades are dropping and my life is falling apart,

But I just don't care as much as I did before,

Because I've become used to not being able to finish what I start,

So WHAT IS THE POINT of always beating myself down

When I'M ALREADY WORKING MY ASS OFF TO DO MY BEST???

I still hate that whenever they check up on me, they only frown

Like I've failed some kind of easy-to-do life test.

I'm sick of them always making me feel like I'm less than enough.

They always say try harder, TRY HARDER, try harder,

And they seem to think that I won't break because I'm oh-so tough,

But it's not true because if I could, I would definitely go farther.

I'M JUST NOT CUT OUT TO DEAL WITH THIS KIND OF PRESSURE,

And it's so hard to live with these unflexible conditions,

Because nowadays everything seems to make me feel so insecure,

And I'M SICK AND TIRED OF NOT BEING ABLE TO OVERCOME MY INHIBITIONS.

***This is kind of a different style from what I usually do with my poems. It's more of a rhyming rant. To get the full effect, run it all together and read it really fast. I was screaming this in my head when I wrote it, so that's why it's in all bold and some of it is in caps