Ugly is Beautiful By: Audrey B. Holley

Chapter 13

Sunlight pours into the room which awakens me to my horrible reality. As I stumble out of bed, and the exhaustion continuously weighs me down, I hear whistling. I discover Gaven in the kitchen whipping up some scrambled eggs.

"Morning beautiful. Made you breakfast. Can't go to school with an empty stomach." He gazes at me and smiles.

I watch as his eyes sweep over me when I stretch.

"Are you checking me out?" I ask.

"Maybe. What would you do if I was?" He smirks at me.

I don't know what to say.

"You are just so beautiful."

"Is it all about my looks you truly desire?" I question, and stare over at him through my lashes.

He steps up to me, and grins down at me. "Nope. I love how you..." He sweeps a strand of hair off my forehead. "I love how you're so willing to put up with Mindy, and take it all, all the crap she gives you. I love how much of a strong woman you are. You're bold, brave, so understanding with everything, yet you are misunderstood, and badly mistreated." He clears his throat before he continues. "I love how when you smile, your dimpled left cheek gives me this odd feeling in my stomach."

"That is called a butterfly." I explain with a smile.

"Right, yeah butterflies. I get those," he pauses a moment before continuing, "I admire your sensitivity. I love how when I kiss you..." His voice lowers to a whisper. "You do this adorable blush thing." He dips his head low, and brushes his lips over mine.

Tingling sensations swirl within my body, and I do all I can to twist away and say, "Got to get ready for school." I exit the kitchen, my breakfast cold and untouched. The desire weakens me each time. Although I want it, I want him, to unfold the one experience that has yet to come, I vowed to myself long ago I'd give myself over to a man when in marriage. Why is it so difficult to fight off the urges that trap me in these situations? He's only a boy, but no, to me he's "the boy". My body aches for his gentle loving hands, but the thought of actually feeling them upon my bare skin gives me shivers. Being a teenager without parents to explain everything is a bit frustrating. Why can't they be here? I need their comforting words that this is all normal, it's a simple part of growing up.

* * * * *

After Gaven and I are all ready for school, we still have 10 minutes to waste time before the bus arrives. I've decided to share the "feelings''.

I find him sitting on the couch in the front room. 

"Gaven?" I say. He glances up, startled to see I'm all prepared for school.

"Well hello beautiful woman."

I fiddle with my jacket zipper nervously. "So listen..." I make an effort to meet his eyes. "I've been experiencing some emotions." I explain it all slowly. "And like um..it's nothing serious, but uh I just thought you should know." I inhale a deep breath. "So here it goes. You know how when you love someone, you want to I don't know, what do kids say nowadays, uh tap that?" He smiles, and I can tell that he stifles a laugh.

"May I say something?" He asks, grinning wickedly. I nod. "You mean sex, correct?"

"Oh gosh," I groan, "I don't mean to be weird or anything." I can feel my face shading into a reddish color.

"No no. I'm glad you're opening up. I feel the same way."

"Really?" 

"Well yeah. Of course. I love you silly." He smiles, and then stands. His lanky body is presented beautifully, making my knees weak.