Ugly is Beautiful By: Audrey B. Holley

Chapter 14

Days have past and we are at a stand still with finding an end to Gavens curse. We are at home, and at the moment his temper swallows him. Johny is at work. 

An expression of infuriation gives off his unpleasant side. The questions remain unanswered, and lingers in the unknown. "You don't know." He is saying. "You can't comprehend what this feeling does to me, to know I've even taken another life!" He hollers and steps up to me so close that I almost stumble. 

"Gaven just-" 

"No! Shut up! Just shut up!"

"Gaven it'll be OK. We'll figure all this out together."

"But you don't get it! It's this beast! This beast! Beast, get out of me! God, get it out of me!" He pulls at his shirt, thinking the monster will come off like a piece of clothing. 

When he looks at me, I glimpse tears building up at the edge of his watery irises. "Did you know my mom is dead because of me? To think, I killed my own parent. How would that make you feel? How would you feel if your mom was dead because of you?"

"But I didn't. You killed my mom, not me." As the words come out of my mouth, I want to swallow them back down. What is wrong with me? Why did I say that? It isn't his fault that a monster turned him into his worst nightmare.

"I was 7 Flora. I didn't understand at the time."

"I didn't mean it. I don't know why I said that."

A sob climbs up his throat, and I think he might choke on the tears. "I-I'm just scared. I'm sss-so scared Flora." He crumbles into my chest, and weeps into my body. I pat his back awkwardly. "Just hold me please." His muffled voice says. I ponder the thought of what happened to his dad, but I never question, for I'd rather not make matters worse. His bent body curls farther into me. His wet lashes tickle my neck every time he blinks. 

"I love you Flora. I don't know what I'd do without you." He breaks out into a much deeper sob, which causes him to sink in closer to me. When his crying comes to an ending, he leans away, and sees that he has wept all over my shirt. 

"Look at me. I'm not a man. I'm a stupid boy that cries."

"Hey. You are a man. You're my man who isn't afraid to show some emotion in front of his girlfriend." I say, and then wipe away a remaining tear. He grips my hand gently, and holds it upon his beating chest. His puffy eyes stare down at me. Love collides into his gaze all the while a flicker of frustration is hinted as well. His lips find mine, and within the kiss, I can taste his passion for me. A groan that was never meant to be heard, sounds deep inside my throat.

With his palm laying against my cheek, he says, "Um...what was that?" 

My heart quickens. "Uh...you wasn't supposed to witness that." Embarrassment reddens me.

He looks at me in understanding. "Oh, I see." Then he turns a bit red when a certain thought enters his mind. He laughs apprehensively. 

"Sex." He says. "That's whats troubling you, I can see it in your thoughts." He sits down. "Obviously, we need to talk."

Hesitantly, I sit on his couch as well.

While he ponders about how to proceed, I say, "Have you thought about this or is it just me?"

"I've thought about it lately, yes. But..." He pauses for a moment, and then continues. "Flora, I won't do the deed unless you are fully ready."

"I'm not."

"And I respect that."

"I vowed to myself that I wouldn't do anything  like that until I'm married." I explain.