Gemstone Reviews [Closed for Catch up]

Review #22-Revived

Title: Revived

Author: _BigV_

Genre: Sci-Fi.

Rating: PG-13.

# of chapters: 2 (ongoing)

# of chapters I read: 2

Summary/Blurb:

Demetria Astor: abomination.

In an apocalyptic world, there are monsters and there are saviours, and Demetria is seen as the former. Marked by reptilian scales across her body and branded as a Revived, she is cast out from all she has ever known and loved. Grown bitter from society's hatred towards her, Demetria sees no hope for herself or for anyone else like her.

But when Demetria meets Isaac, her world changes- and, perhaps, not for the better.

Review:

Cover:

The cover looks pretty badass. Demetria Astor looks exactly like the description in the blurb (did you choose the image before or after describing her?) and even though she looks like she has a bit of a hump, at least she has a big-ass sword to make up for it. Has this new society reverted back to weaponry from the Middle Ages? It's an important point because it really defines the way the fight scenes are executed. The background, composed of the dilapidated-looking buildings, and the red moon, looks pretty ominous as well. It feels like Demetria is most likely surrounded by other monsters and is about to engage in a battle.

My only complaint about this is the title—it's not the most original I've seen out there. From what you have in the blurb, I feel like you could've chosen a more compelling title. 'Revived' just sounds a little too generic. 

Blurb:

I'm captivated by what you have here. This story already seems like it's going to be a little on the darker side, as well as being gory and packed with action. There are also monsters involved (what kind of monsters I have no clue) so that's an added bonus.

It is a little short, though, because there are points which you haven't expanded upon and/or are a little unclear. I'll go through it line by line.

"Demetria Astro: abomination" — You forgot the article before 'abomination'.

"In an apocalyptic world, there are monsters and there are saviours, and Demetria is seen as the former." I want to know more about what monsters and saviours are. Demetria is pretty abnormal because she has scales, but are the others as lucky as her? Are their defects more gruesome, more repulsive? What classifies someone as a 'monster'? Par contra, what is a saviour? A normal human being? It's best if you did not leave things unsaid.

"Marked by reptilian scales across her body and branded as a Revived [...]" There is no indication of what a "Revived" is supposed to be either. I'm assuming that a Revived is someone who is a monster, just how someone normal is supposed to be a saviour. So why isn't 'saviour" capitalised as well?

"[...] she is cast out from all she has ever known and loved." She lives in an apocalyptic world. What is there to love? Her family? Why should I feel sorry for Demetria if I have no idea what her struggles are?

"Grown bitter from society's hatred towards her, Demetria sees no hope for herself or for anyone else like her." Again, there has been no mention as to how society treats these 'monsters'.

Finally, this guy Isaac comes out of the blue, with no prior introduction. If he's a main character, he deserves a paragraph to himself as well—is he a saviour? Is he as important as a character to the story as Demetria? If so, the final line, and the hook, is where you put the two together. "When the two, very different worlds collide, Demetria's life changes—for the worse."