Gemstone Reviews [Closed for Catch up]

Review #44- The Inter-Evil

Title: The Inter-Evil

Author: WriterofTheStars

Rating: PG

Genre: Fantasy

# of chapters: 5 

# of chapters I read: 3

Blurb:

Leisiel is a Tyrannian.

Right before everything was taken from her-- her parents, her social standing, her wealth-- everything was perfect. She was loved and been a precious child to the eyes of her people. But when her family took sail to visit her Aunt who ruled their rival kingdom- Opalia, they were ambushed and she was the only one to survive. She was twelve years old.

Leisiel is an Opalian.

After the ambush of her family's ship, Leisiel was dragged before her to Empress Tanashima-- Her cold and heartless Aunt. Soon after her parent's bodies were found, a familiar dagger was found through her father's chest. And Leisiel knew, her Uncle-- the King of Tyrannia, caused all this.

Leisiel is an Aoranian.

Since such betrayal from her most trusted Uncle, Leisiel decided to avenge the death of her parents and vowed to put Tyrannia to its knees. After seven years, she has trained herself to kill. And when she came back to Tyrannia-- all strong and fast and heartless, there unravelled a strange revelation to why her ship was ambushed seven years ago. It was because she's special. And she would do everything she can to find out what it is.

Leisiel is a Half Tyrannian and Half Opalian.

And she will bow to no one.

Review:

Cover:

At first, I found it odd that the woman on the cover was wearing a kimono and holding a parasol, but after reading the blurb, it seems like you've gained inspiration from Japanese culture/traditions. I mean, Tanashima as a name sounds Japanese to me—but I'm getting off track. I like how despite the artwork on the cover is kind of "anime-inspired", it looks more realistic than anything. Also, it was digitally drawn (I personally hate screenshots of hand-drawings. It looks tacky.)

The colour scheme is obviously dark—the blurb doesn't promise a story filled with rainbows and unicorns—and I see the colour "red" being very prominent. I know that red is both the colour of passion and blood, and it seems to work well in your case. The title contrasts well against the grey/black background, which makes it more eye-catching. I just wonder what "inter-evil" is supposed to be, whether it's the name of a species in the story or something, but I guess we'll find out soon!

Overall—*thumbs up*

Blurb:

Whenever I see that a blurb is more than two paragraphs long, I know that it's going to contain information that it shouldn't contain. I didn't even have to actually read it to guess that, but once I went through it, it confirmed my suspicions.

You've given away too much of the story. You've basically given a potential reader the entire backstory of the character, while the purpose of a blurb is to give a sneak peek of the story. That is not to say that it's not well-written—I actually quite like how you employed repetition to reinforce the fact that Leisel had to travel a lot in a short period of time—it's the fact that it's practically an info-dump. This is most likely going to be covered throughout the story anyway, so it's pointless to put that here; don't give away the whole story. Remember, it's a blurb, not a summary. Two very different things.