Gemstone Reviews [Closed for Catch up]

Review #24-Sword and Magic Academy

Title: Sword and Magic Academy

Author: T. Mallard (BeautifulGoddes)

Genre: Action

Rating: pg-13

# of chapters: 10 (ongoing)

# of chapters I read: 2

Summary/Blurb:

"To be a Guard you must lay down your life. At any cost."

In Sword & Magic Academy, the most qualified come to Paris to train to be what is known as Guards. They protect civilian's from monsters that consistently prey on humans. Carter Cartwright is one of Sword & Magic Academy's newest students.

She'll discover what it means to be a Guard. Meeting new friends and enemies all in the name of saving humanity, to rid the world of demonic monsters.

But the question remains: Does she have what it takes?

Review:

Cover:

The more I stare it at it, the more it trips me out.

Was your designer on acid when they made this?

There is just so much going on—I want to say to either have the background or the title really funky, because having both seems like a bit of an overload. I'm trying to focus on all the books flying about, the chick floating in the air like she's possessed, and the font of the title, which looks like something out of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, but I can't. I legitimately have to look away for a second before I can turn my gaze back at it.

Additionally, it doesn't seem like a cover appropriate to either the genre or the title. When I think of a "Sword and Magic Academy" a samurai with an enflamed katana comes to mind, or pretty much just anyone looking badass. Not this. I'm not saying that the cover isn't cool—because in actual fact, it is—I'm only suggesting that you take a look at the other covers of the genre. What you currently have looks like something out of a Fantasy world.

Overall—Where are the Oompa Loompa? 

Blurb:

I like your opening sentence—it's strong and pretty much summarises what it means to be a Guard.

But the next one reads a little awkwardly: "In Sword & Magic Academy, the most qualified come to Paris to train to be what is known as Guards." Not only is there not an article before "Sword & Magic Academy", but you also use an ampersand in the place of 'and'. It's text-language, and is too informal for its purpose. This Academy sounds like its only for the elite, so they would keep it as formal as possible (Even an acronym is better). To me, it comes across like you were too lazy to write the 'and' in.

Furthermore, through the way it's currently written, it makes me think that Paris is found in the Sword and Magic Academy, when in reality it's the opposite. The correct way to write this would be: "In Paris, at the Sword and Magic Academy, only the elite come to train in order to become what is known as 'Guards'.

The next part about the monsters, etc. came across as a little abrupt, because you didn't actually introduce a sort of 'dangerous' world. You need to first give us an idea of the setting, and then explain why anyone would need a Sword and Magic Academy—only then will you have given it enough significance to make it relevant.

The introduction of Carter Cartwright was also sudden—who is she? Why did she join the Academy? Was it because of something that happened to her past? Again, you need to put more of the information into context. I'm assuming that it isn't easy to become a Guard, and someone cannot just decide one day, "Hey, I want to break my back and sweat blood so that one day I can become a Guard!" It seems like a selective academy, for only a chosen few.