Gemstone Reviews [Closed for Catch up]

Review #43-The Theory of Everything

Title: The Theory of Everything

Author: smiling_soul

Rating: PG

# of chapters: 5

# of chapter I read: 2

Blurb: Aarohi and Aaryan are high schoolers, experiencing their first of everything. While Aarohi is totally naive about the fact of love, Aaryan thinks that love is trash but still admires it as he admires physics. The romantic idiot, Aarohi, and the physics expert, Aaryan fall in love in cutest yet most troubled way possible.

Review:

Cover:

I like how simple this cover is—I can already tell that this is going to be a love story (in the teenfic genre), even though the title is reminiscent of the 2014 movie about Stephen Hawking. From the summary you gave me,

"Aarohi and Aaryan are high schoolers, experiencing their first of everything. While Aarohi is totally naive about the fact of love, Aaryan thinks that love is trash but still admires it as he admires physics. The romantic idiot, Aarohi, and the physics expert, Aaryan fall in love in cutest yet most troubled way possible."

I can see the relation to the fact that Aaryan seems to enjoy physics a lot. It's a little different from astrophysics, but it's still science, which really tries to give a reason for everything.

I like the font of the title, but not of the subtitle and author's name—for one I can't really read the subtitle (as well as the fact that it's cut off at either end), while the author's name kind of jumps out at me. The color is a stark contrast against the dark background.

I'd suggest that you get those two things fixed up, and you're ready to go! 

Blurb:

There isn't a blurb—All I'm given is a sentence. Out of context, it doesn't really tell me anything. I don't know a thing about the protagonists, what roles they play in the story, what the conflict will be...I wouldn't be drawn into the story unless I'm given a blurb. I actually thought that the summary you gave me was it, and even though it needed some work, it would've been much better than simply nothing.

So write a blurb. asap.

Now, for the story!  

First Impression:

I liked how you didn't open the story with a wake-up scene, which is typical of Teenfic stories that take place in high schools. The location also isn't America, so I'd like to see about the cultural/academical differences between the two countries—it's something I have yet to read about, so I'm hoping that you won't default to the American system.

When the protagonist said, "So, friends?" I thought that was a little strange to say; it sounded like the type of thing a five-year-old would say to another, not a high schooler. It sounds too childish, and I just can't think of a teenager who would say that. It would make more sense if the protag said something like, "I think we're going to be great friends." It sounds cooler, and more adequate to her age.

"Even the girl's washroom at the very other end seemed to be out of one's reach. Then, suddenly I had the urge to pee immediately."—I didn't buy that last part. She was fine up to this point, but then bam she has to pee? Like really badly? It would be better if this feeling came right from the beginning, rather than just being thrown in as a plot device to get the character to meet the male love interest (I also don't get why she would be walking down a crowded hallway with her eyes closed. I just don't see that happening)