Gemstone Reviews [Closed for Catch up]

Review #26-The Secrets Inside

Title: The Secrets Inside

Author: YoungGirlBookLover

Genre: Mystery/Thriller

Rating: PG-13

# of chapters: 1

# of chapters I read: 1

Summary/Blurb: 

Evangelina Grout lives a pretty extravagant lifestyle. Her father being a very successful actor, gives her the life of luxury. However, Evangelina doesn't have as much luxury as people believe her to have. She has her own secrets too, like her father being an alcoholic. She confines her worries in her closest friend, Scottie, the son of the Carlyle family.

Scott Carlyle is the son of the mafia boss. He grew up to his father dealing with all sorts of no good stuff. After watching his father throughout his life, he developed a sense for justice. As he starts to dig into his own family business, he finds things he shouldn't on his closest friend.

Soon, the members of the Carlyle family start being killed by a man named "The Author", and Scott and Evangelina know it's their job to find out who's causing this, but as they come closer to the truth, and each other, the more family secrets come to light.

Review:

Cover:

A two-lane road with no clear ending or beginning shrouded in darkness. I wonder what this imagery is supposed to mean in the story—it doesn't have to do with runaway teenagers, but it does have something to do with the "dark side" of town. As you know, the worst type of people tends to come out at night.

I like the fonts of the title and of the author's name, and they way the white lettering contrasts against the background. The only issue I might see with this is that even though it may have a metaphorical meaning, it doesn't exactly jump out at readers, because of how dark the colour scheme is. I personally have no issue with this cover, but if you're seeking for more exposure, I suggest having a cover that has more vivacious colours, perhaps include the characters on the cover (people go nuts for mafia stories) and maybe a compelling subtitle, that kind of summarises the blurb in just a few words. 

Blurb:

I like this blurb because it has an actual structure. You introduce the first protagonist, end the paragraph with a sentence that links it to the next, introduce her friend (sidekick?) and finish with the conflict question. The writing flows, and your hook was pretty compelling. I certainly didn't expect Evangelina to get involved with the mafia, but then again, her father is relatively corrupt. This brings me to the few plot holes I've already picked out, just from reading the blurb.

"She has her secrets too, like her father being an alcoholic."

Her father is supposedly a world-renowned actor. Actors that famous barely have any private life—they are constantly hounded by paparazzi. Being an alcoholic is a major problem, it isn't something you can easily hide, especially if you're under the spotlight a lot.

For example, when Marilyn Monroe started doing drugs (it's worse, but alcoholism is also a debilitating addiction) it started to impact her work as an actress as well. She couldn't spend more than a few hours on set, it affected her mood, her relationships, etc. So it's impossible that such a famous actor can be an alcoholic and nobody knows about this. Especially when I think of an alcoholic as a person that consumes alcohol frequently, and in large quantities.

"After watching his father throughout his life, he developed a sense of justice."

A Mafia boss' sense of justice is warped. They believe that by 'helping' people (giving them loans with a 50% interest rate, throwing threats, protecting their territory), it gives them the leeway to destroy anyone who gets in their way. What they see as 'justice' (e.g. burning down the house of a poor soul who was dumb enough to take out a loan from them), is different by, let's say, a superhero sees as justice. There is a big distinction, so I think you should clarify that Scott doesn't agree with his father's corrupt morals. Additionally, I don't see why he's snooping around his family's business. They do pretty illegal stuff already, so what is he trying to achieve? Collect evidence on his father to throw him in jail? Clarify this.