My Muted Music Love

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter 16

Elizabeth

When Niall told me that he was going to help me get over my fear of pianos, I thought he was going to make me come face-to-face with a piano. Never had I been more glad to be wrong then I am now. He first started off with pictures. He showed me a few pictures of pianos and forced me to look at them without turning away.

It was actually harder than it sounds. I had to force my tears back as flashes of my parents and the accident cross my vision. The images kept playing in my mind, but after a while, good memories with the piano were incorporated with the bad ones. After I had gotten a little used to the pictures, he had shown me videos of people playing the piano.

I still got flashes of my parents, but I had even more of good memories. The feeling I got when playing the piano. The look on my parents' faces when I played a song for them. How whenever people came over my house, my parents would brag about how great I am with instruments- usually piano. How the piano was my outlet. How I could never get tired of the piano, like I did with other instruments. How the piano was my voice.

All of that and the bad memories like the ones of my parents' deformed bodies. My dad's face when my mom first got hit. How completely broken he looked. How helpless I felt when I couldn't cross the road. How people at school referred to me as a 'music geek' because the music teacher favoured me. How whenever I mentioned the piano, my friends groaned and rolled their eyes. How my mom's piano was taken away from me to be sold somewhere. How the piano seemed to hate me.

All of these memories hit me hard and I couldn't hold in the tears. They flowed down my face like a waterfall. Niall noticed and stopped playing the videos. He wiped away my tears with his thumbs and lightly pecked my cheeks. I smiled and hugged him. He hugged me back and we stayed in that embrace until I pulled away.

"We could stop this if you want." Niall says and I shake my head and puff up my chest to show that I can do this. He smiles and pulls me to him as he plays the next video.

I can do this, I can do this. I will do this, I will do this. I need to do this. I chant in my head. It doesn't really help much, but it helps a little. Niall always glances at me and gives my shoulder a squeeze for support as I try to swallow my memories. After a few more videos and tears Niall turns to me and kisses me. I'm shocked for a bit before kissing back. When he pulls away I give him a questioning look. He just smiles.

"I'm proud of you. Now, do you want to move on to the next step or just stop now?" I think about it for a few moments. I guess it's better to face my fears now then later so I nod my head.

"Next step?" I nod my head in confirmation. He grins and pulls me up.

We walk downstairs and pass a few rooms that I've never been before. I look around while we were walking, interested at the look of them. He then stops in front of a closed door. He turns towards me and gives me a smile before opening it. I walk into the room to see that it has a few couches on one side with a television and pool table. I look at the other side of the room to see a few chairs, a table with a deck of cards on it, and a piano.

I blankly look at it. I don't move. I just look at it. No thoughts running through my head, no tears falling onto my cheeks, I just stare at it. I hear Niall saying my name, but I don't respond. I just look at the piano. It isn't until Niall grabs my arm that I react. I flinch away from his touch and start to shake. I can't help it. I try to stop but I can't. I just continue shaking. I start taking deep and heavy breaths, and before I know it I stop breathing all together.

Niall starts panicking and hits my back repeatedly, as if I was choking. I see black spots all over my vision. I open and close my mouth, trying to get oxygen into my system. I loose my balance and fall to the ground, Niall by my side not knowing what to do. I grab my throat, scratching at it. Right before I completely pass out, Niall presses his lips on mine and breathes into my mouth. He keeps breathing into my mouth until I sit up, gasping for breath.

Niall looks at me wide-eyed. After his initial shock, he hugs me. I hug him back and don't try to let go. We stay in that embrace, me trying to regain my breath, and him reassuring himself that I'm okay. This never happened to me before and it actually scared me. I never knew that the piano could make me react this way. I didn't like the feeling.

"I thought I was going to loose you." Niall whispers before pulling away and standing up.

He pulls me up and walks away from the piano. I don't follow him and he turns around when he notices that I don't. I take a deep breath and walk towards the piano. Niall quickly pulls me back and shakes his head. I raise my eyebrows at him and try to turn back around, but he won't let me.

"No, I'm not going to watch that again. You're not ready to be near a piano." I shake my head and kiss him lightly before sitting in front of the piano.

I take a shaky breath and touch a key. The sound echoes in my ears as all memories relating to the piano plays over in my mind. I start crying and my throat closes up, but I continue to press more and more keys. More tears stream down my face and it becomes harder and harder for me to breathe. I still force myself to play. Soon enough, I can't see anymore and stop breathing all together.

I fall on the ground and curl up into a ball while my vision blacks out. Niall is screaming my name and tries to breathe in my mouth. I regain my sight and gasp for air. Taking small breaths, trying to even out my breathing. Niall grabs me and squeezes me tightly, pulling away only to kiss me.

"Don't do that to me again." He says before pulling me back into the embrace.

I pull away from him and look at the piano, expecting the worse. But what I got was even more surprising. Something I've never thought possible. Nothing. No memories. No urges to cry. No trouble breathing. Nothing. I grin and turn back to Niall and kiss him passionately. I can't believe it. I got rid of my fear.

And I have Niall to thank for that.