Confused Feelings (CoAi Story)

CF 02

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"How are you?" Professor Agasa asked Ai worriedly through the laptop screen.

"Same as always, Professor." Ai tried to smile, though it barely reached her eyes.

She was in Shinichi's room, sitting on the sofa beside his hospital bed, her eyes never straying far from his face.

"I'll be there next week to see... him." Sadness tinged the old man's voice, making his concern even more evident.

He missed Shinichi too, and like Ai, he still held onto hope that he would wake up.

Ai nodded, her usual stoic demeanor faltering for just a moment.

"So, did you figure out why Shinichi hasn't reverted to Conan, even after five months?" Agasa asked, his brows furrowed. Ever since the accident, Shinichi had remained in his original form, a strange occurrence since the antidote Ai had given him before the party should have worn off within a couple of days.

But it had been five months, and he was still Shinichi.

"Isn't it possible that you created the real antidote this time?" the professor added, trying to sound optimistic.

"No, Professor—I’ve told you before, if it was the perfect antidote, I wouldn’t have reverted to a child again. I tested it on myself before giving it to Kudo." Ai sighed, frustration mixing with her sadness. "My theory is that it’s because of his condition..."

"What do you mean?"

"Since Kudo's brain is... they say it's... dead," she hesitated, struggling with the painful reality. "Maybe it affected the APTX 4869, stopping the drug's effect for some reason."

Professor Agasa sighed, his expression reflecting the weight of their situation. "So, what's your plan now?"

"I'll continue my research while waiting for him to wake up," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.

The professor nodded, understanding the burden she carried.

"By the way, the kids finally stopped asking me questions about you and Conan... Finally." Guilt was clear in his voice.

The Junior Detective Squad had been relentless, pestering Professor Agasa about their two friends who had vanished without explanation.

"I guess it’s for the best," Ai replied, her tone heavy with sadness. Despite their age difference, Ai and Conan had grown close to Ayumi, Mitsuhiko, and Genta, treating them as true friends.

Leaving them clueless was the last thing Ai wanted, but she couldn’t reveal anything to them, especially since they were just kids.

Ai sighed, deciding to change the subject. "How is she?" She referred to Ran, Shinichi’s childhood friend and, in some ways, his love.

They loved each other, and Ai had painfully accepted that fact. It was part of why she clung to hope for Shinichi’s recovery; she still blamed herself for disrupting his life.

At the very least, she wanted them to reunite, even if it meant enduring her own heartache.

"She's doing fine, I guess. I saw her last Friday with her friends—she was laughing, seemed like she was having fun. Maybe she thinks Shinichi is just being himself and investigating some case somewhere in the world."

"Great..." Ai thought, feeling a mix of relief and disappointment. She was relieved that Ran was doing well, but also disappointed that the girl Shinichi loved was unaware of his suffering.

Ai turned off her laptop, leaning back on the sofa. Her eyes drifted back to Shinichi, and she felt the familiar sting of unshed tears.

She refused to cry. She was afraid that if she started again, she wouldn’t be able to stop.

"Wake up... I’d rather see you happy with her than like this," she whispered to the empty room.

---

"Shiho?" Ai stopped walking as she reached the bottom of the stairs, recognizing the familiar voice.

"Yes, Kudo-san?" she answered softly, showing respect to the man who had called her.

"What did I tell you to call me?" The familiar grin was visible on the old man's face.

Ai sighed deeply, feeling her cheeks warm with embarrassment. "D-dad..."

"What?" he teased, drawing out her response.

"Dad..." she repeated, this time with more conviction, though still accompanied by a sigh.

A pleased smile spread across his face. "Very well. I assume you’re going to see my son?"

Ai sensed the loneliness in his voice, even though he tried to maintain a normal tone.

Kudo Yusaku walked toward Ai and knelt down, patting the little girl’s head gently. "Thank you for staying by his side, Shiho."

Ai felt a familiar warmth spread through her chest, the same feeling she got whenever Shinichi’s parents thanked her.

But along with that warmth came a pang of guilt, a feeling that she didn’t deserve their gratitude—not after everything that had happened.

She didn’t respond, only managing a small smile.

"Alright..." Yusaku stood up. "Victor!"

A blonde man in his early 40s quickly entered the room.

"Please take good care of my daughter," Yusaku instructed, glancing at Ai, who was blushing once again—a reaction he found amusing.

This young girl rarely showed her true emotions, especially when it came to embarrassment.

What could she do? She wasn’t used to this ‘daughter’ thing, and Yusaku’s teasing was his way of lightening the mood, even if only for a few seconds. Besides, others thought Ai was Yusaku and Yukiko’s child.

"Yes, sir." Victor followed Ai as she made her way out.

Yusaku watched the car disappear from sight before letting out a heavy sigh.

He couldn’t imagine how hard this was for the little girl. Even though he didn’t know Ai fully, the information his son had given him was enough to understand the torment she had been through.

And now this?

His years of experience had taught him that Ai was blaming herself, and he knew that was a dangerous path.

"If she keeps this up, she’ll break sooner or later..."

---

(Cellphone Rings)

"Hey, hon, is Shiho coming back to the hospital?" Yukiko asked.

"Yes, she’s on her way. You know her—she can’t stay away from Shinichi for long. She only went back to get some things."

"Oh well, it’s obvious she doesn’t want to leave Shinichi for too long. Our son is too charismatic, huh?" Yukiko joked, and Yusaku chuckled in response.

"Maybe... Hopefully, our son will wake up soon so she can breathe freely again." As a father, he wanted his son to live a normal life again, but he was also deeply concerned for Ai.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. This is getting too much for her to handle. I don’t think she’ll be okay if we lose Shinichi..." Yukiko’s voice wavered. Not just Ai, but Yukiko and Yusaku would be devastated too. They had already lost hope once, but Ai had brought it back to them. Now, imagining a world without their son was too painful.

But they also knew that if Shiho lost Shinichi, it would be the end for her too.

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Edited version.