Confused Feelings (CoAi Story)

CF 07

"You still got it, huh?"

"Got what?" Shinichi stared at Heiji after they got out of the car.

"You know, you being the modern Sherlock Holmes..." Heiji closed the car door and started walking towards the entrance of Kudo Mansion.

"Ohh... Is it about the scene earlier?" Shinichi followed him.

"Yeah... Seriously, you could've just ignored it, you know. I guess the detective blood inside you is still there, even if— you know..." Heiji was referring to Shinichi's amnesia.

Shinichi shrugged. When they were in town buying some things, they saw a crime.

Normally, outsiders can't cooperate, yet Shinichi noticed something that made the police officers let him cooperate with them, alongside Heiji.

After a long time, they finally did some investigation again, but Heiji couldn’t help but be shocked.

He didn’t actually believe that Shinichi could still do that. Heiji was against it at first when they got involved in the investigation, but when Shinichi said something wasn't right, they started doing what they always used to.

If they hadn't been there, it would have been ruled as a suicide— but since Shinichi appeared, it's now a murder case.

There was a woman in her late 30s who was found in the tub. They found a suicide note, and the husband confirmed that it was his wife's handwriting. The woman was overdosed, with the bottle and capsules found on the floor near the tub.

What made Shinichi think it wasn’t suicide was the son of the woman's husband. He noticed how that 20-year-old guy quickly smirked, as if he was enjoying the situation.

How often do you see a person enjoying someone's death, right? Sure, some people might be like that, but usually only if they hate someone so much— it's as if their humanity has left them.

At first, Shinichi couldn’t explain why he wanted to involve himself in such matters— he couldn’t remember anything, but something pulled him into the case.

That he should do something.

That he could do something.

"After a long time, I became your 'Watson' again... Oops— wait, I’m not your assistant anymore." Heiji almost whispered the last sentence, but Shinichi heard it.

"Watson? Assistant?"

"Nah... It’s nothing." Heiji shrugged. Someone else had that position in Shinichi's life now— his place had been stolen— yet it was fine with Heiji, as long as it was the little menace.

"You're weird..." Shinichi commented as they entered Kudo Mansion. "You know, earlier— everything just felt right, gathering evidence, figuring out how that person did it, how—"

"Yeah, yeah, detective work feels right to you because you're a detective," Heiji cut in.

"I know, but the first time they said I was a detective— I couldn’t believe it. How often do you see a teenager being a detective?"

"Hey! I was one," Heiji said with a crinkled forehead as they walked upstairs, two bags in his hands.

"Oh... Yeah, sorry, I forgot— too much information I need to remember. It’s kind of messed up in my head." Shinichi smiled awkwardly.

Heiji stared at him for a moment and stopped in the middle of the staircase, making Shinichi stop as well.

"You know, I’m not used to the new smiling Shinichi..." he confessed. Since he got here, moment to moment, Shinichi always smiled— it wasn’t him at all.

"Is it bad?" Shinichi asked. What’s wrong with smiling, right? Did the old him always frown or something?

For Heiji, the old Shinichi only truly smiled for Ran or when he solved a case— that’s when he’d see him smile.

But now, Shinichi smiled at every comment or joke Heiji made, or whenever Shiho was sarcastic.

It was like it had become easy to make him smile and laugh.

Not the old Shinichi Kudo at all.

"Nope..." Heiji answered, popping the 'p'. "I actually like it..." He then smiled at him and resumed walking.

Confused, Shinichi followed him.

For Heiji, nothing was bad about the new him— he just wished that Shinichi’s memory would come back sooner or later.

"Did you find it weird when we learned the suspect was the other man in the victim’s life?" Heiji reopened the topic.

"Well, a bit— I kinda felt pity for the old man. It’s his son and his wife who were in a sinful relationship," Shinichi answered. The victim, who was killed by the suspect, had been having an affair even though she was married to the suspect’s father.

The police found some drugs in the son's apartment near the woman’s house. A teenage girl witnessed the woman going to the suspect’s house, and she heard them yelling something like—

'We’re done!' — the woman’s voice.

'I’m not letting you go! You are mine, for f*ck’s sake! That old man will not get a hold of you again!'

It seemed the woman wanted to end it with the suspect, but since the guy was drugged and out of his mind, after that fight, he planned to kill her— and he succeeded.

The suspect confessed that his possessiveness caused it all— plus, the drugs and alcohol didn’t help.

The woman’s handwriting had been forged by the suspect. Unfortunately, that guy had some talent for copying someone’s handwriting. If not for Shinichi and Heiji, it really would’ve been ruled a suicide.

"Well, I guess for the woman, it was just a game? She wasn’t serious. On the other hand, the guy was crazy— that’s why, instead of letting her go, he killed her so no one else could have her." Heiji sighed.

"The suspect said he did it because he loved her so much that it hurt seeing her with his father. Don’t you think it was really... love?" Shinichi asked.

"Maybe at first?" Heiji shrugged. "We don’t know if it was really love or just obsession. But the thing is— if you truly love someone, you can’t physically hurt them, not even a bit. But that dude was waaay crazy for killing his so-called 'love of his life.'" Heiji rolled his eyes at the last sentence, putting the bags on the table in the second floor’s living room.

"I guess love is really scary..." Shinichi said in a low voice, making Heiji look at him. "It can change people— from good to bad, from normal to insane. Isn’t it unfair that people call it 'obsession' when it’s bad but 'love' when it’s good? We all know that before it becomes 'obsession,' it was 'love'— so technically, it’s still love."

"What are you saying?"

"No idea, haha. I just find it weird and unfair how people believe obsession isn’t love when, in fact, it’s just an evolved form of the feelings they admired. Okay, don’t mind me— now I’m confused myself too." Shinichi let his body fall onto the couch.

Heiji, on the other hand, kind of got what Shinichi meant— well, he guessed, people do let themselves believe what they want.

Like labeling 'obsession' as the bad one and 'love' as the pure and good one.

Now that he thought about it, it was kinda unfair.

Geez, this Shinichi, opening weird and deep topics.

XOXO

Edited version.