Insecure | Zach Clayton | Permanent Hiatus

13 ♛

Walking into school the next day wasn't as bad as it was the day before.

Instead it was a lot worse. School seemed almost bearable. Seemed. That's the key word, seemed.

It's school, what do you expect? It will never be bearable not for me at least. Being alone at school sucks. Sure, I have Cecilia and Caden but they are always asking these weird questions.

It didn't matter if I wasn't alone, I get have Cecilia and Caden but I feel alone. I feel so alone.

Cecilia has new friends now, figures she also got a boyfriend. I think his name is Reed but I'm not sure.

Oh and Caden he's busy trying to flirt with every cheerleader. Of course he is failing though, it's Caden what would you think? His don't seem to be appreciated, and his personality is pretty cool. Expect his flirting sucks ass.

Speaking of Caden getting rejected there he was right across from the math classroom trying to flirt with Penelope, one of the cheerleaders of course.

"Are you butt dialing me?" He asked Penelope I watched in amusement as she looked confused.

"Cause your ass is calling my name." He stated causing me to almost burst out laughing.

Penelope had a Starbucks smoothie in her hand and I could tell she was about to dump it on him by the way she was opening the lid up.

"Oh really?" She teased her tone full of a flirty vibe.

"Y-e-yeah." Caden stuttered not expecting that. Eh, neither was anyone else to be honest.

"Babe come here." She motioned her pointer finger as a verbal sign for him to come closer.

He smirked coming closer to her so she got a perfect angle to dump her smoothie on him like she was planning.

As just on que the bell rang and Penelope poured her open lidded smoothie on Caden in a way to shut him up with his mindless sexual pick-up lines.

I laughed lightly and shook my head at the smoothie covered boy that was now shivering.

Serves him right.

I walked into math almost tripping on a chair as I tried to walk to my desk. I'm
Not really surprised I trip on air at least this time their was an object so I didn't look like a complete moron.

Zach caught a glance at me and smiled lightly before continuing to write down something on a piece of paper.

I sighed lightly when class started it was already boring me. Since my anxiety attack, Zach seemed to be looking at me more.

I glanced over at Zach to see he stopped writing and he passed the note to someone, who passed to someone, who passed it to me.

I couldn't take off the smile on my face when I read the words.

Raegan

Go on a date with me? Plz

-Zach

I quickly scribbled a note back to him.

No... Sorry

I wasn't stupid, I'm not going to say yes to him. He still probably wanted to humiliate me even more. As if I haven't been humiliated enough in my life.

I know I'm falling in love with him and I don't want too. That's scaring me and that's why im choosing to not make this go any farther than it already has.

I'm scared to fall in love with him-- or him to know I fell in love with him or that I am falling in love with him. It's confusing but I don't want him to know because I barely know anything about him and he'll break my heart.

I can't trust him he'll just find a way to hurt me like everyone else has once done. It doesn't matter if the pain he causes me is accidental

I really don't need my heart breaking more than it already has.

I passed the note back to him and he gave me a sad puppy dog look with a shrug. I knew what he was applying

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"What happened at school today?" Dad asked not seeming to care as he read the newspaper.

"Stuff. When's dinner?" I asked trying not to let out a yawn I was holding in. It wasn't even that late, either.

"In an hour were waiting for one of your friends to arrive?"

I scoffed friends, I don't really have that many.

"Cecilia? Caden? Both who?" I asked hoping he didn't mean just Caden. That would be so awkward.

"No the other one. Uh. Beatrix?"

I shook my head, I didn't even know a Beatrix.

"No the Brittany girl, silly." Mom yelled from the kitchen table. My eyes widened in fear.

"Huh? Your funny, mom. Brittany and I Arn't friends?" I laughed nervously.

We really weren't friends. Not anymore at least. Not going to be anytime soon. She still has a lot of apologizing to do.

"Well she wanted to come talk to you so, we invited her to eat dinner with us." Dad explained, making this situation worse without knowing it.

I wanted to scream at them saying, You invited her to dinner? You invented my best friend from sixth that ended in middle of the seventh grade that made me want to cry every fucking day when I saw her to eat dinner with us.

Instead I didn't scream at them those words I just stomped to my room and wished that this night would go by a lot faster than I thought it would go by.

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Forgive me for not updating I am sorry.