My mind is consumed
With the inevitable ‘what ifs’
Your fantasy of dying young
Being shot betwixt the eyes
While performing on stage
Now the ‘what ifs’
Are becoming stronger
And winning over my consciousness
As yet another day
Slips by without a word from you
I remember some things you’ve said
The story of your past
Unknown by many
But revealed to me
I can’t stop the ‘what ifs’
Making their way into my mind
I am going crazy
Sick with worry
Fear is draining me
Bringing me down
As now I am on day 20
Still no word from you to me
The ‘what ifs’ of life
Inevitable in the end
No matter how much I meditate
I can’t stop the thoughts
From sneaking in
And nestling deep within
The recesses of my brain.
You tell me your fantasies
That you wish to die young
Like all the great rock stars of the past
You stopped for a time
For you knew it scared me so
But yet those thoughts
Of your fantasies and dreams
Hit me hard
As the days slip by
One after another
Still with no word
From you to me.
I contact your mom,
My old band director,
I tell her a message
To give to you,
And still no word
So I wonder
Where are you now?
Since I thought you were home
Resting after a long tour
You always talk to her
And I thought you would listen
But I don’t know
What to think
As days upon days
Continue to slip on by.
You tell me stories
Of rock stars of the past
How they all died young
While still in their prime
You tell me
You wish to be like them
To die while young
And not to live to be old
Now as days continue to slip on by
The inevitable ‘what ifs’ of life
Come to me
Your fantasies are now on my mind
They dug themselves out
Of the deep recesses of my brain
They are now
In the fore most part
Of my mind.
The inevitable part of life
No matter how I try
The ‘what ifs’ come through
As a day turns into a week
And a week turns into three
Still no word from you to me.
