We'll Start A New Revolution (Kellic)

Looks Like You Are Out Of Luck

Kellin lay on our double bed, eyes closed and hands folded on his chest. His breathing was shallow, and his once beautiful brown locks had turned grey and were no longer long either. They were cut shorter than before, though still long enough to partially hide his face now he had stopped chopping them.

'Tell me another story, Vic.' He breathed, massaging the back of my hand with his wrinkled thumb. 'Please?'

I laughed lightly and placed a kiss to his temple. 'Okay,' I replied, shifting my position on the bed next to him. I opened my mouth to speak but he cut me off.

'Can it be about Anna?'

'Of course. Now shh so I can tell you.' It didn't take long for me to gather up a memory, and once clearing my throat I began to speak.

'I remember when it was Anna's wedding day. You were so nervous. Always flitting about trying to tidy up the flowers and cutlery before the ceremony - and getting into trouble with Anna for doing so.' Kellin chuckled, obviously remembering.

'This isn't about Anna,' he said, a hint of a smile on his lips.

'Again, you have interrupted me. Just wait.' Kellin huffed and snuggled closer. 'Anyway, after she'd told you off for the fiftieth time, it was the ceremony. Anna was late to go down the aisle, and you'd been assigned the job of leading her down.'

Kellin once again jumped in, 'I'd lost her!'

'You had gone to the bathroom.'

'To check if she was there.' Kellin defended himself.

'Yep. As I was saying, she was late. Due to you untying your tie and not being able to re-tie it. Shhh! Walking down the aisle, she looked so happy. Smiling brightly - but God, her cheeks probably killed her.' I retrieved a photograph from next to the bed. In it, was a picture of the three of us.

'But you. You were terrified. And I felt it too. The giving away of our daughter. I'm glad you did it, and not me.'

'You wouldn't have just disappeared, you'd have stolen her away with you.' Kellin whispered.

'So?'

'So, my point being you would have done the exact same thing.'

'How about another story then?' I asked, wanting to get rid of the tears that were welling up in mine as Kellin's eyes. We were such saps. I passed Kellin a tissue as I retrieved one for myself, but he ignored it, instead wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve.

'Now we've finished our sob session, how about I don't tell a memory of our dear daughter?'

'That sounds best,' Kellin mumbled, sniffing and taking my hand back so he could massage it.

'Why are you massaging my hand? Couldn't you massage my shoulders?'

'No. Then I wouldn't be able to see your face.'

'Of course.'

I launched into another story, telling Kellin that it was simply fiction. I based it off the dreaded night so many years ago. A night shared between myself and a man I thought was Kellin, on a bunk at Warped.

'That's a terrible story.' Kellin interrupted, as I finally came to the part of my unknowing unfaithfulness, not ceasing his rhythmic massaging into my hand. His voice was breathy, as though he was running out of air. I heard him suck in another rattling lungful, and sigh contentedly as the much needed oxygen hit his bloodstream. A stray tear trickled down my cheek.

'What if... what if I told you it was a true story?' I whispered, my voice breaking and causing me to pause. Another shaky breath from Kellin, that was a lot quicker than the previous told me of his reaction. I couldn't bear to look at his face, so I squeezed my eyes shut and looked away, the rotation on the back of my hand ceasing, Kellin instead choosing to gently tighten his grip on my hand before relaxing, muttering under his breath. I gathered my nerve and borrowed strength from Kellin's simple touch.

'It was Josh... And I thought it was you. I'm so sorry Kellin. I wasn't strong enough. I should have known. You're my Kellin.' I took in a shaking breath myself. 'I mean, who could ever come close to you? And it's not like you would ever do that.'

'I was raped, and I'm sorry I never told you. I'm so sorry.' I opened my eyes and looked over at Kellin.

His eyes were wide open, and his mouth agape. His face, which had been facing me, was now on the side, locks of grey hair tumbling across the age weathered skin. I stared at him for a few seconds.

'Kellin?'

My heart rate sped, and I checked his wrist for a pulse. Finding none, I put a hand a few centimeters away from his mouth to try and detect breathing. But I already knew it was too late. Those were the actions of a desperate man. My mind was screaming at me; you can't hear his breathing. It had been the loudest thing in the room.

He had gone his whole life not knowing the truth. A wash of relief crashed over me, followed by sickening guilt, and pain.

I moved the covers back and got into bed, holding Kellin in my arms. He was still warm. I closed his eyelids with my fingertips and shut his mouth, before closing my eyes and slipping into a deep sleep myself, tear tracks lining my face and making a wet patch on the pillow.

'I love you.' I whispered, placing a kiss on the back of his head. He had died without ever knowing the truth. I wish I hadn't kept it from him. From everyone I loved. But I guess it was too late for me to tell them too.




A/N

Title cred: Lonely Girl - Tonight Alive

Last chapter. I love you all xx