Teenage me

1020 words of thought

I'm back I was grounded for a while but I'm back I'm gonna read post post update everything in like all all of March was OK April is OK at the end of it from starting from like the 16th all the way down was helllllllllllll  and I hate July through June so much I hate school and heating everything right now the only things I don't hate is my boyfriend my sister and a little bit of my friend why am so depressed is probably the cause of one of my best friends and my mom my mom is a Big deal about my depression what is my friend like she's I don't know how to put it because she's not backstabbing not all of the other things but we were really close and then something happened to one of her at the table actually and then they started becoming friends they moved tables and all these rumors been coming up Like
Oh she's so fat
Basically using you to get more friends
She's a backstabbing bitch
She's a fat bore
You've been replaced
Like what the hell I don't even say crap like that I mean I say worse than that and if I don't thank you that means I don't like you and I will show if I don't like you people at my school know me so well
I'm not popular but I'm not a nerd not hated it at school but I'm not loved
If you were in my shoes you'll be really confused, depressed, slight happy, and pissed the fuck off
I miss my old friends the ones that don't backstab me the ones that don't call me names but on the back ones all miss all my old friends and I miss my new friend but it's so hard to not freak out over when your friends that you call your best friend and thought well actually have someone that cares and that likes me  and that we can hang out all the time but you know what I was wrong
wrong
wrong
wrong
wrong
wrong
Wrong
Now the mom part
My mom thinks I'm not ready
she thinks I'm not ready to grow up
she thinks that I don't deserve a chance
she doesn't  even give me the chance to make a mistake
she doesn't even want to help me doing the math homework
she don't even want to help me during school work she don't want to help me at all
I cook for myself I clean for myself
I wash my clothes for myself
I do all the stuff that I need to do by myself
she taught me a few things
She tries to hide the truth away but I already know
She says I'm
Too young
Immature
Too little
Not old enough
She calls me Lazy ass when she always on the laptop or go to to her boyfriends 
She's home some times
She's actually a big cause of my depressing life I mean we're not rich and the poor but we have enough money to buy food stuff that we need
I just hate how she acts like me Chaz the wear my clothes and she gets mad at me for the most through this thinks she told me not to wear her clothes what you where's mine I swear on my life and she she's jealous of of that she said to me in my face  I bet she would quit every letter she has said every word she has spoke One day she's going to realize how tough she was on me then any other of her kids I don't want to be like her she tries to get me to be like her I don't want to grow to be like what you are showing to get me to grow up to be she was I'm actually going to finish school and I'll jump out in the 12th grade right  before you graduate
I'm tired of my life I'm tired of living my life but I have to go through them and every day I had to put up with it for 14 years after littlest things I hate putting up with all of the things in my life but she just doesn't realize nobody realizes
Yes I have a boyfriend and everything is going really well I mean real good I mean I love this boy but people say
honey you don't know what love is
Oh hell  I do I think I know everything in the world means I know what love means I know what happy means I know was sad means
Don't come up to me and say you don't know what love is ....
But this really means a lot to me he makes me happy and not sad he would do anything for me and I will do everything for him
He's my life
But you know what
Mom says I'm not ready to young to go to a boys house off and on off and on and she doesn't want me to have a boyfriend but you know what fuck you Mom I am going to live my life how I want to I'm going to live the life that I want to live I'm going to go my own way you say you want to give me to make you read me now I'm ready I don't want to go like you really make me mad and angry you go I'm ready to get out of dark hole back into the brighter worldand live the life I want to live I mean I'm a good kid I have good grades I just don't have the patience to do with all the shit I'm going tough like you sister Kaylee and Jackson and everybody I'm done with all of it so I'm just gonna go eat Ramen noodles and watch MTV
Bye-bye guys
Make sure to contact me
Words 1020
Yay me my first 1020 words of my feelings and thoughts
Good job destiny good job me