Prescription

t h i r t y

"Oh you got a new bitch? You think you got a new bitch? She ain't a new bitch, she's a used bitch. She aint got nothing on me"

Alyssa Whitaker | Lysa💙

I was waiting for JC to come with my babygirl, I just wanted to see her. Knowing we both made it is a miracle, we beat the odds like I knew we would.

JC came in and he immediately ran to my side hugging me and smashing his lips on mine. He wouldn't let me go and he kept whispering I love you.

"JC I'm here baby, I made it. We beat the odds." I smiled.

"Alyssa-" He sighed putting his head down. "You beat the odds."

"What you mean baby?"

"Our daughter didn't make it."

You ever felt like your whole world was crashing down by just a sentence?

That's what I was feeling.

My heart was broken and I don't know what can I do to prepare for this. I was so focused on me surviving out the surgery when I never thought about Kaijah surviving.

"Alyssa baby talk to me."

"Okay."

"What you mean okay?"

"I guess I wasn't ready for a baby right now. It's okay, I'm okay."

I'm not okay.

"Alyssa no one is just okay with a human being they carried in their stomach for 9 months dying, don't shut me out Alyssa. We can get through this together."

"But we can't. You didn't lose a baby that you felt growing in you, I felt her first kick, I stayed up at night as she moved around keeping me up, I had them weird ass cravings, I was going to die for her. Don't say we anything!" I snapped crying.

JC didn't say anything but I knew by his face he was holding his tongue. What I thought was going to be an argument turned out to be him holding me in comfort while I silently cried holding my stomach.

"Don't say that wasn't my baby because it was mine just as much as yours. You was carrying her but she knew I was her daddy, that was my princess. Just because I didn't have that connection like you, that was still my baby and I'm still affected by her death. You not alone in this so don't push me away." He whispered in my ear, never letting me go.

"I blame myself, maybe this wouldn't have happened if I fought Morgan. I knew I was pregnant and I still went to fight, I was already being a bad mother by putting my daughter life in jeopardy."

"But that's not your fault baby, you got jumped by 8 bitches."

"But I didn't have to get revenge right away, I could of waited or sent my cousins to handle her. I didn't have to do that." I cried.

"And you know you was wrong. But we can't reflect on the past, only our future. This is going to get harder and harder everyday but I'm going to be there for you just like your going to be there for me."

"Can we have a funeral? A proper goodbye?" I asked.

"Anything you want."

"I love you Jayceon."

"I love you more Alyssa."

Jayceon Whitaker | JC😌

"Coming again at 2 in the morning huh Lys?"

Ever since we had the funeral Alyssa been a mess, I mean I didn't expect her to act like everything was peaches and cream but it's like now she don't even care about nothing no more.