*Fifth month*
My mom is coming in two days and I can't handle the stress. I have been walking the neighborhood all the time. I stress walk and I hear its good for the baby. the other half of my time I'm eating half from stress half from the baby. I have been staying at Mia's town house to be with someone and to be watched. She doesn't believe I'm okay she thinks I'll do something rash. I just want my mom to come already so I can get it over with.
Mia and I were sitting on her couch she was rubbing my back and cooing in my ear trying to calm me. I was a nervous reck. My stress eating had turned into stress not eating. I was hungry all right but I couldn't eat the thought of food disgusted me. The smell of cooking food made me gag and feel nauseas. I was showing some and I made sure to wear one of my shirts I had brought from home so my mom would know it wasn't fitting right. I heard a car out front and jerked my head up. Mia whispered one last thing in my ear and got up to get the door. I herd Mia say hello and ask to take a bag my mom must have been carrying. "Um sure, were is she?" I heard my mother voice for the first time in months and leaped up and ran to the door. I jumped into her arms before she could manage a hello. She hugged me back, when we finally broke apart she kept her hands on my shoulders holding me back to exam me,"Well you look lovely!", she exclaimed. she hadn't yet seen anything but my face. I turned around and led her into the kitchen. I put my hands on the counter and got ready to turn around. I turned and my mother saw my belly. by the look in her face I could tell this was going to be hard. "Honey what did you do?!", by the way my mother said this you would have thought I killed a child not had one. She sat down on one of the stools by the island. "Mom I'm sorry I hadn't told you yet but I wanted to do it in person and you couldn't come down any sooner." I knew the question that I had been dreading was coming. "Honey who is the father?" Dang how the hell am I supposed to say this to my own mother she will be devastated and disappointed I didn't tell her sooner. "Mom don't get mad or like faint.", I could tell by the look on her face she could tell what I was going to say, if only she knew how bad it really was. "Mom I have no idea who the father is." Mia came in probably hearing what I just said and thinking she could either comfort me or help lessen my mother reaction. Either way I was grateful.
"What?", my mom was way to quiet. She was obviously in shock. "Mom I was at the beach with my first boyfriend and I fell asleep and he left me there because he said I was so peaceful. Some guys drugged me and took me onto their boat." , Mia was holding my hand, "They raped me I know that but I don't remember their faces. I only woke up twice on the boat the first time I was on a bed but there was no one else. The second time I woke up and there was something in my mouth and you know. I saw and two different arms one black and one tan. That's all I remember." Mom was shaking now and Mia had gotten her a tissue. "You you were.....raped?". "Yes Mom I'm sorry." I felt terrible but much better. She got a really angry look on her face she pushed back from the table and came towards me,"There is absolutely nothing to be sorry for." That was the mom I knew the one I had missed for months. I fell into her and cried. "Well honey I trust you to make all the right decisions. I of course will come back down here for the baby's birth. I will love you no matter what you do or decide." I love you to the moon." I love you to the moon and back." Our phrase since I was a little girl.
"Louis!!! My Mom is here." I was on Skype with my mother and Louis. He answered but wasn't on screen. I heard a scream and laughter. there was a blur then louis was sitting in the chair in front of the camera. "Hey sorry I'm hiding from security the show is about to start and they think if I Skype you I'll be late. Hello Mrs.Heart." My mom smiled and waved. We heard security yelling at him to hurry up and stop fooling around. "I am not fooling around this is the most important thing in my life right now!" He yelled back. Louis's statement earned an aw by my mom. "Oh god it's 7:00 the show stats in fifteen I'm so sorry I have to go. Love you baby. Nice to meet you Mrs.Heart." He waved then disconnected. "Well he's cute." my mom always noticed the looks. "Yeah I know but he's way more than that." I couldn't even describe how much I loved him. "Well if it was my approval you were looking for you got it." I wasn't really looking for her approval but it was a good feeling to have it. "Thanks. I really love him and I know he loves me." Just talking about Louis put a smile on my face. "I know you probably thought I was going to take you home, but I see you are doing very well and I don't really see a reason to bring you home." I leaned over and hugged her the best I could with my stomach. "Honey I love you I really do. I want you to be happy but I have something to tell you." I looked at her face and I knew it was going to be bad. "Baby your father is out." my heart stopped and I choked on air. "What?! How can he possibly be out. It hasn't been seven years yet!" I started crying. "Honey he's demanding to know where you are. He knows you moved." "Mom you can't tell him I'm finally away from him." "I know but part of the agreement is that he has a right to know where you are. He can't come near you but he has the right to know where you are. I'm sorry I know you don't want to see him or talk to him but he might try to call you." "I will tell him what I think about him and hang up.Its the least he deserves." I wouldn't let him come back into my life.
