To Be a Belikov (Vampire Academy Fan Fiction Book 3)

Chapter 20: Heartbeat

Chapter 20: Heartbeat

There was a reason I didn't like doctors.

Doctors made the decision that someone couldn't live; they decided how much fight a person had, or how little strength they truly possessed. They dictated medications and crazy chemicals that were more lethal than any Strigoi, but they still held all the power in situations like these. They were the ones in control and it made me sick.

Annessa's doctor was an Alchemist, unsurprisingly. I knew they worked with us in extreme cases but there was a voice in the back of my head that kept reminding me of how much these people disliked our kind. They wanted us gone or hidden; they didn't want us in human hospitals. It'd be only too easy to slice a little too deep and –

No, Rosemarie. No.

She was going to be okay. She had to be okay.

The doctor said everything was completely up to Annessa right now. She had been bumped around pretty bad in the bus, and it had caused swelling in her brain that could be damaging. In addition to that, she had internal bleeding that they'd already done surgery on and they'd been worried about her heart for a while. It was fine, Dr. McAdams said, but the swelling was worrisome. She had to fight, he said; she had to want to come back and use every ounce of her willpower to get here.

It was moments like these that made me question if I'd raised my daughter to be a strong enough woman. If you had asked me that morning, I wouldn't have hesitated to answer; Annessa had all my strength in addition to her father's unbreakable soul. She was invincible.

Now, I didn't know. I didn't know if I'd shown her how to fight hard enough, or how wonderful this world could truly be. I understood it was easy to let go; I had been in that situation so many times before.

Annessa couldn't leave though. If she left, I didn't know what would become of Dimitri and I. We were a family and, without her, we would be lost. She had bounded into our lives and stolen our hearts; she couldn't bail out now. She was a Belikov, and I wanted her to experience every wonderful moment that came with being alive. She deserved it.

Staring at her motionless body in the hospital bed, I couldn't keep my mind quiet. Memories of her running through our backyard or twirling across a dance floor drifted through my mind, creating a showcase of all the life that my daughter possessed. She was full of energy; she was full of fight.

Dimitri sat on the other side of the hospital bed. He'd pulled up an arm chair and was intently studying our daughter. His eyes never left her as he held her tiny, pale hand.

I perched on the thin mattress while Cassie and Eddie were in the other armchair, Cassie in Eddie's lap. They were trying to keep up a conversation with us as a distraction, but it fell quiet after a couple sentences. It wasn't the same without a musical little laugh breaking into our "adult talk."

"I didn't take my eyes off her, you know," Eddie spoke up again as he tried to ease the silence. "Not once."

I turned towards him, my lips in a tight smile. "Thank you."

"You should have called me," Dimitri commented, his voice cold.

Cassie met my gaze, her face sad. She would always be our biggest fan, even when we were fighting or arguing about protocol. Once, she had called us her role models; now, with her never wavering smile and positivity, I called her mine.

"Dimitri," I said sternly, reaching across the bed to lay my hand over his and Annessa's. He looked up, his eyes softening as he saw me.

"Thank you, Eddie," Dimitri tried again and I gave him a nod. "I am glad you were there for her."

"She was in good hands," Cassie added, touching Eddie's cheek gently as she smiled. I would always admire their love; it was as beautiful as my own, but still unique in a way that was completely them.

A quick tap came at the door before it opened quietly, the silvered head of Annessa's doctor peeking inside. I nodded at him and he entered the room, his nurse behind him. Their golden lilies glimmered in the sterile light of the hospital room as they stood at the foot of the bed, everyone's eyes glued to them.

"If we could speak to the parents alone," Doctor McAdams said, giving Cassie and Eddie a small glare.

Cassie looked to me for orders before standing up, Eddie joining her. The nurse shifted away from them as they got close to her while walking out of the door. Eddie gave me a sympathetic smile before closing the door behind himself.

Not wasting time, the doctor began, "Annessa's brain is not progressing how we'd like. The swelling is going down, but we still have not been able to take her off the ventilator. This means–"

"She can't breathe on her own," I interrupted, cutting him off. My eyes were on Annessa and the ugly tube protruding from her mouth. "She can't breathe," I whispered as my heart pounded in my ears. I remembered that feeling; the suffocating noose of not being able to catch my breath as I stared into the red-rimmed pupils of a Strigoi.

Dimitri's strong fingers intertwined with mine, pulling my attention back to the doctor. "What do we do? How do we help her?"

"I'm afraid there is not much we can do besides keep her comfortable," the doctor continued, his voice steady. "I am so sorry, Guardian Belikov."

As the words left his lips, my heart stopped beating. I blinked at him, unable to move while I tried to process what he was saying. Annessa was gone; he wasn't going to help her any more.

But, they had said the same thing about me when I had been shot. Young bodies recovered from fatal injuries; youth was truly the best healer in the world. This doctor couldn't just leave my daughter without at least fighting like those medical people had for me. Annessa deserved to be fought for.

"No," I snapped, ripping my hand from Dimitri's. I glared at the doctor, growling, "We are not giving up on her like that."

"We do not have a choice, Guardian Belikov," he answered, not missing a beat. "She is too far gone. There is too much damage to try and–"

"You will try anyway!" Dimitri roared now. He remained in his seat, his eyes blazing with fire. "You will not let her die."

"She's too strong to die," I said quietly. I couldn't tell if I was trying to convince him or myself.

The doctor met both our lethal gazes, his nurse already quivering behind him. We were frightening; then again, we would be or do anything if it meant we could have Annessa back.

Clearing his throat, Doctor McAdams said, "I'm sorry, Guardians. My colleagues and I have done everything we could."

Dimitri stood now, towering over everyone in the room as he glared down at the doctor. "Then you will try it again until it works."

There was a beat of silence, both men sizing the other up. Without a doubt, Dimitri could snap this scrawny human's neck in less than a second.

"I'm sorry," the doctor repeated and quickly scurried out the door, his nurse sprinting behind him.

It took all my self-control not to plunge my stake through their necks.