Five - Fire and Ice

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In the days leading up to my departure, Grandmother was beyond angry with me, first for lying to her and second for her own ignorance, I presumed. After all, I had told her about the threat with an unsaid Don't say I didn't warn you subtext with it. The threat was real, and denying it wouldn't make it go away. Still, she focused more on the fact that I'd lied to her.

"Never have I had someone openly deceive me," she said, standing above me and pinning me to the chair with her gaze. Her face was white and her lips thin with rage. "Least of all, you, my own granddaughter, who I took into my home out of the goodness of my own heart."

"Grandmother, I'm sorry. I am. But we had to go to the Order. They needed to know about the Naturals. It could become a severe problem, if it isn't already."

"Then why not write a letter, Emma?" She threw her hand up, her eyes following. "Surely there are different, and less dangerous, ways to gamble with your life."

"I was fine, Grandmother. I had my friends there with me." Cath had told me much later how Celia had taken one on all by herself, leaping on his back and nearly scratching his eyes out.

"Fine does not say coming home with blood on your face and your brand new dress. You could have died, Emma. Those Naturals could have killed you. That bruise on your temple says so."

"But they didn't," I protested. I wanted so badly for her to see sense, but she was refusing to. "Grandmother, I can do this. I have to refine my power a bit is all."

"That is not all, Emma. You have acted against my wishes, and put your life in danger. The Order is not just a good-against-evil struggle. It is a dangerous society that fills your head with notions that can never come true."

I shook my head. "Grandmother, it might have been that way back in your youth. Things are different now."

"That is beside the point. The way it in my day is not your concern. The point is that you are not to associate yourself with them. They are dangerous people. And you can forget about refining your power. You are not to use it."

"What?" I finally got the courage to stand. "Grandmother, you cannot limit my power. You let my father do it."

"Do not bring Peter into this. I was trying to keep him safe. But he went to the Order, behind my back, and associated himself with those people that ended up getting him killed. That's how he met your mother. They both got these notions in their heads that they could save the world, and look what happened. My only son is dead."

I hesitated. That was the most she'd said about my father since he'd died. I'd heard just the slightest scratch in her voice, like it pained her to talk about it. I wished instantly I hadn't brought it up. I wanted to say something about how I was wrong to lie to her, because I was. What I had done was inexcusable, and had most certainly put my life at risk. Yet I'd survived, against all odds. That was the difference.

However, I couldn't think of anything to say, so I had to turn on my heel and walk out.

||

The arrows were flying considerably less when I finally returned to Allerton mid-January. By then the news of the attack on the Order on Christmas Eve had spread, and for a time my friends and I held a star status. I didn't want to tell them much. I still had terrible flashbacks of the Naturals simply stabbing people through the neck. Before I was knocked out, of course. Apparently I'd missed the worst of it, because the dark-haired Elemental with green eyes had carried me to safety and made sure I got home all right. He'd introduced himself too, apparently, as Christopher Wellington, son of the Head of the Order.

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