A Broken Hearted Smile

Part 5

I lay in bed that night, crying. sobbing. screaming eternally.

why can't my life just be easy? I can't let Carmen go; but how can I date someone that knew my girlfriend better than I did?

my phone rings and Carmen's bright smile appears on my screen. I don't hesitate to answer. "hello?" I say with a scratchy voice.

"Harry? what the fuck? are you crying?" she says, alarmed. "I'm coming over. I'll be there in 10." the other end of the line goes dead, and my heart begins to race. no, I can't do this. I can't lead her on.

I love Christine. she's still my girlfriend; I can't betray her.

Carmen shows up at my door exactly ten minutes later, and her smile dissolves when she sees my face. "Harry?" she reaches out and brushes a curl out of my eye, and I cringe.

"Carmen, I can't do this. you were Christine's best friend. I can't date someone knowing that you knew her so well. I'm sorry." my eyes flood tears at a quick pace.

I watch her eyes for any signs of sadness; fear; anything. but I find nothing. she gives a slight smile of sadness and says, "Harry, that girl loved you a lot. and I'm sad that she died, too. but Christine wouldn't want you to shut others out. she'd want you to move on; and love another girl just as much as you loved her. she might always be number one in your heart, but Harry, she's gone now. maybe you'll find someone who will make you forget the past; I hope so. bye Harry."

my heart shatters as her pink dress disappears around the corner, and I crumble into a pile of nothing; once again.