Cheer Up

why are you so cruel

"usually, I would study at this time. But, now I'm lying on my bed. It's dark inside my room. As I look out the window, I finally see the beautiful stars shining bright up in the sky. It took me a while to notice them. And I feel sorry for myself, for noticing them only now. They're bright. I feel good. I don't want to close my eyes..ever. I'm afraid I'll miss the stars when I won't be able to see them."
~
"Mum!"
"Scarlet!" Mr.Lee shouted as he ran out of the kitchen followed by Edmund.
"Call the ambulance! Hurry!" Mr.Lee told Edmund.
He tried to move his hands to take his phone out of his pocket but he couldn't. He could hardly breathe. His legs gave up on him as he fell on the road, breathing heavily .
"Someone please call the ambulance! " Mr.Lee shouted as he shook Mrs.Lee again and again.
"..take care of Edmund.." Mrs.Lee whispered.
"No! No!" Mr.Lee quickly got up, carrying Mrs.Lee in his arms. Just then the ambulance arrived. Their neighbour had called one.
They quickly put her on a stretcher. The paramedic gave Mr.lee a sympathetic look as he took a look at Mrs.Lee.
"Quickly! Quickly! " mr.lee kept shouting as he rubbed mrs.lees hands.
"Sir..she's..-"
"No! She's alright. She'll be alright. She'll be alright! I won't let her go!" Mr.lee kept rubbing mrs.lees cold hands.

"..I'm sorry but..we can't treat on her..she sustained a head injury..she..is no more.." the doctor said as he rubbed mr. Lees back lightly and walked away giving a sympathetic look.
Tears of defeat blinded Mr.lee as he fell on the ground.

"Edmund-ah..hey hey, it's alright. Your mother will be alright. Get up. Come on, lets go to the hospital." Mr.Kim, their neighbour who called the ambulance rubbed Edmunds back as he made him drink some water.
Edmund got up, his legs still shaking. His breathing still unstable.
They reached the hospital on a taxi. Edmund had stabilized a little now. They got off and Edmund ran inside the hospital. He went to the emergency room..still praying in his heart. But suddenly it felt like all his energy got sucked out of him when he saw his father holding his head and crying on the floor in front of the emergency room. His legs started shaking. His heart started beating harder than ever. It felt like it would jump out of his chest. It felt like it'll explode. Edmund walked towards his father
"Abba.." he tried saying but his throat was as dry as wood.
Mr.lee saw Edmunds shoes, he lifted his head. His dark brown eyes filled with tears. His nose all red and suddenly..he started looking so old and tired.
"..she left us..Edmund..she left us! What will we do now.." Mr.lee hit his head several times. He was mourning over the loss of his love.
Edmund took a deep breath. Wishing this was all a joke, a nightmare. But no..it wasn't. He could remember his mother being hit by the van. He could remember her being covered in blood. He could remember her..last smile. Just before she left him all alone in this scary world.
He wanted to give up when he suddenly remembered something his mother would always say to him, "be strong for your father". How. How could he be strong for his father when he, himself, lost his mother. How..could he..be strong when he felt like dying.
Edmund kept wiping his tears and they kept falling. He sat next to his father and patted his back
"We must not waste time. I'll take care of the funeral. Go say your last goodbye to mum..and remember, she was smiling before she left us..don't ruin her mood by crying in front of her. Tell her you'll be alright. Tell her you'll miss her but you'll learn to live without her. Tell her to wait for you in heaven. Tell her..it will be hard but everything will be alright. Tell her..she should stop worrying now..and abba..tell her..I'll be strong" Edmund wiped his tears and got up.
Mr.lee looked at Edmund, tears still falling. He was still mourning over the loss of his wife but a tiny smile managed to make it's way to his lips when he saw Edmund. He just realized his boy was now a man. His baby boy was now..a grown man. Trying to be strong for his father.

Edmund threw himself against the wall as soon as he got out of the hospital building and cried. Loud and hard. He cried and cried but..it wasn't helping. The pain..he was going through wasn't subsiding.
"Edmund.." a familiar voice said, Edmund looked up and saw his best friend, taehyung.
"Tae..mum.." Edmund vaguely gestured as he sat down.
"..it's going to be alright. Everything's going to be alright. You need to be strong for your father. You cannot give up now. Your mum always told you to be stronger for your father..if you want to make her proud..don't give up" tae hugged Edmund
" I..I..wanted to make her prouder.." Edmund whispered remembering the conversation with his mum earlier today.
"Stay strong." Tae whispered.

"Edmund.. I heard about your mother.." the manager didn't raise his head in order to pay respect
"I'm sorry for skipping work without informing you.." Edmund bowed slightly
"No no..it's alright..I'd like to pay my condolences..and if..you want any help..don't be afraid to ask.." the owner of the coffee shop said from behind.
Edmund bowed "thank you sir..but I'll tell you if any help is needed" he said
"Okay then..go back home and rest. Look at yourself. It's only been two weeks since your mother left you and you're already in bones! Look at the dark circles under your eyes. Have you been eating well? Did you get any sleep?" The owner asked
"Sir..don't send me home. It's scary and awfully silent there.." Edmund sounded desperate and scared.
"Edmund.." the owner pulled him near and patted his head
"Come on, I'll take you to my place. You can stay there till your father gets back home." He said
"..my father is at home..he doesn't come out of his room anymore. Sir please I don't want to sleep..let me work" Edmund whispered
"..Edmund- oh! Eun ji-ah! Come here!" The owner waved at someone behind Edmund
"Oh abba..what happened? " a girl with short brownish hair wearing her school uniform walked near them
"Eun ji.." the owner sighed
"Abba! I didn't do anything wrong! Fine..there is a kitty in my bicycle basket..but abba it has a broken limb..I just wanted to treat the wound.." Eun ji confessed
The manager snickered.
"Eun ji..that's not why I called you. Can you do me a favour?" The owner asked
"Oh? Haha..sure! What is it abba?" She asked suddenly hugging her father
"..this is Edmund..he is a part timer here..he's two years older than you..can you..help him?" The owner asked
Eun ji gave her father a questioning look. She looked at Edmund, who was looking at the floor.
"Abba..he looks weird" eun ji whispered to her father
"Eun jiiii.." her father warned her
"Sorry..what kind of help do you want oppa?" Eun ji asked Edmund
"Yah eun ji..at least ask him if he's okay with being called oppa.." her father ruffled her hair
"Oh right..sorry. excuse me sir, how can I help you?" She asked
Edmund looked at the owner
"He's wounded. Help him like you helped tommy" the owner told eun ji
"..tommy? Abba..do you really want me to help him like I helped tommy? Hehe..um..the vet gave tommy a sedative and then..tommy died.." eun ji whispered the last part
"..oh? But you said..that you gave him up for adoption! " her father said
"Hehe..I kind of..lied." eun ji sheepishly smiled and fixed her hair
"Excuse me sir, can I start my..shift?" Edmund asked
"..no..eun ji, you were going to treat that cats wound right? Take Edmund with you. He'll help you." The owner looked at Edmund
"Sir..?" Edmund looked at him
"Edmund..it's Friday today..we don't open our shop on Fridays..remember? We clean on fridays" the owner reminded Edmund
"Right..I forgot. I'm so sorry sir..but now that I'm here..I'll help you clean.." Edmund suggested
"No you can help eun ji clean the cats wound. " the owner said as he pushed eun ji and edmund out of the shop.
Eun ji looked at Edmund secretly.
Edmund, on the other hand, was looking at the sky
"..um..excuse me..you can go home if my father is forcing you to do this" eun ji said
"Hm? Oh no..I'm sorry..I'll help you with the cat!" Edmund said
"Wait!" Eun ji stopped him, "look at me" Eun ji demanded
Edmund turned around and looked at her. Eun ji stared right into his eyes and then she looked away. Blinking several times.
"What is it?" Edmund asked
"Oh no nothing..you just look a little different." Eun ji replied
"Oh..yes. I'm a half korean. Edmund Lee.." Edmund bowed
"You sound so soulless. What should I call you? Edmund Lee sunbae? Edmund lee ssi. Ed ssi. Mr.ed. mr.lee?" Eun ji asked
"..doesn't matter. We won't be meeting again." Edmund said as he took his apron off and threw it in his bag pack.
Eun ji took her tie off and threw it inside his bag pack.
"Remind me to return it to you before I leave" Edmund said
~
"What was it that I saw in his eyes? Something I'm so familiar with. Sadness. But I kept quite because I didn't only see sadness in his eyes. Desperation. It looked like he was drowning and crying for help. It looked like he was losing hope..I wonder what made him like this.." Eun ji thought as she looked outside her window. The stars were shining bright. Shimmering, shinning, splendid.
"How can you shine so bright? Don't you see what I'm going through? Why do you shine in front of me..why are you so cruel..why do people like you when you don't.. even care about..what others are going through..why are you showing off that light..why are you so cruel.." Edmund whispered as he drew curtains over the window and sat in the dark room.