Cheer Up

disappearing light

"..I'm standing here on my knees trying to show you that I need you abba..abba I need you the most right now..I don't know how we'll live without mum but I do know that i need you.. Abba..please don't leave me waiting outside the unopened doors.." Edmund sat in front of his fathers room and cried. The stars weren't shining today. It was cloudy. Dark.
~
"Abba..come out and have breakfast.." Edmund knocked at his fathers door
No reply. Silence.
Edmund took a deep breath and knocked again. Still no answer. He wiped his tears and whispered through the key hole
"..I'll leave it out here..do eat it..I'll be late today. Make sure you have dinner. It's in the oven" he put the tray on a small table and left.

"Did he come out today?" Tae asked
"..he doesn't even answer." Edmund replied
"..is he..alright? " Tae asked
"Hm..I checked up on him through my mobiles camera..the picture wasn't clear but he was standing by the window. I'm so tired of this." Edmund held his head in his hands
"..give him some time to heal.." Tae patted his back
"How much time does he need? Does he not care about me? How I'm doing? What I'm going through? Do I not deserve any time to heal? Am I not a human? I feel so helpless and so lost.." Edmund covered his eyes
"I'm sorry.." is all Tae could say. What else could he say..there was nothing he'd say that could ease his friends suffering.
"Ahhh..don't be sorry. I'm glad you're still here bearing with a cry baby." Edmund smiled
"..hey..I'm your sidekick~" Tae grinned
"How was your first day at university? " Tae asked
Edmund looked at an empty bench and sighed
"It felt like I was just wasting my time there. No aim in my life anymore.."
Tae was left speechless again.
"Right! I have to go to the coffee shop!" Edmund suddenly remembered. He waved at Tae and walked away.
Tae looked at him leave and when he was sure that Edmund was gone. He pulled his hair. He kicked an empty cola can away and threw his bag on the ground.
"God!! Please don't make him suffer so much..please lessen his pain. Please God please. Please..my heart aches seeing him shattered. God please.." Tae cried and cried till his eyes dried out. Tae and Edmunds friendship wasn't so old but it was stronger than anything. Edmund once saved his life, Tae was about be pushed on the train track because of the shoving crowd at the platform but Edmund pulled him away. It's been three years but Tae can never forget that time.

Edmund rushed inside the coffee shop, "I'm sorry I'm late." He bowed
"Oh Edmund. You're here.." the owner stuck his head out of his office.
"I'm sorry I'm late.." Edmund bowed
"Oh no no..it's okay. Eun ji said she'll be here in a few minutes. She went to buy some snacks from the grocery store a block away..come in and have a seat" the owner motioned him to come inside his office
Edmund looked around then pointed towards himself, "I? Sir?" He asked
"Hm!" The owner nodded
Edmund went inside and sat down. Awkwardly looking at the floor while the owner was doing something on his laptop.
"..Eun ji should be here by now.." the owner sounded worried. He quickly got up and went outside to check.
Two minutes later Eun ji hadn't come and she wasn't even picking up her phone.
"Hwan-ah! I'll go look for her..take charge!" The owners voice was shaking. He stepped outside and bumped into Eun ji.
"Yah! Eun ji.." he sighed in relief as he hugged her.
"Abba..what happened? " she asked hugging back
"Why weren't you picking up your phone? " he asked
"..it ran out of battery. Why what happened? " eun ji asked
"Oh no nothing. Edmund is waiting for you." He pointed towards his office
"Edmund is? He's waiting for me?" Eun ji fixed her hair and her skirt.
"I thought you said we won't meet again." Eun ji teased
"Hm? Oh..it's impossible not to bump into eachother here." Edmund replied
"Jina..I named the cat Jina. She's doing fine and she's walking a little better now." Eun ji said
"Good to hear." Edmund got up
"Edmund! Will you go with Eun ji to get me some mint and lemons from the market? " the owner asked
"Sir? I can go by myself.." edmund said
"Take Eun ji along. I insist. "

"Stop paddling so fast! The chain will get stuck!!" Eun ji pulled Edmunds shirt
"Stop pulling my shirt." Edmund replied
"..sorry..I'll fall otherwise" Eun ji said
Edmund stopped the bicycle and got off.
"Why do I have to do things with you? Do you like me? Did you ask your dad to look for ways for us to be together? If that's the case..I don't like you. So don't get your hopes high." Edmund wiped his sweat and got on again. But this time Eun ji got off.
Edmund looked at her and she slapped his face. Edmund looked shocked. He rubbed his face.
"Give me my bicycle! Go to the market yourself, on foot! I hate you!" Eun ji had tears in her eyes as she took her bicycle and rode away.
"Smile in front of a guy and he thinks I'm in love with him. Ah I hate such people! " Eun ji pushed her cycle away and stomped around
Edmund was looking at her.
"Ah so annoying!" He ruffled his hair and threw an air punch at her and left.

"Eun ji..where's Edmund?" Her father asked
"I don't know! I don't care! And abba! Don't make me go with him to places! I don't like him! I know why you were trying so hard but abba I don't want to see his face again!" Eun ji threw her bicycle and went to their apartment which was just above the shop.

Edmund got off the taxi and went inside the coffee shop. Eun jis father was holding a rolling pin and the manager was holding a frying pan in his hand.
Edmund gave them a questioning look.
"You're back.." the manager whispered creepily
"What did you say to Eun ji? She never said she hated someone before but you made her hate you!" The owner asked
"..haha..I just..asked her why we had to go to the market together.." Edmund rubbed the back of his neck
"That's it? Then why was she crying?" The manager asked
Edmund looked surprised when he heard that.
"She cried? I..never intended to make her cry.." Edmund said
Mr.Hyun, the owner, wanted to hit Edmund hard but then he put the rolling pin away and sighed.
"..I'm sorry..I kind of pushed you to do something like that..you can change and go home..you must be tired" he said as he sat on the chair near him
"..yeh..then..uh..I'll be going! Oh and these are the things you asked for.." Edmund handed him the grocery bag and left.
~
"Crying all night yesterday..I felt completely numb today. It felt like there was a rock inside my chest instead of a beating heart. It feels like cold..my heart.. Today it felt like..my words and my anger erupted on Eun ji. My hot boiling words must've hurt her. But..I had to take my anger and frustration out on someone. Just how the lava destroys everything that comes in its way..my words must've destroyed a part of her..but I couldn't help myself and I.. I don't care how she feels..I feel devastated myself." Edmund gently touched his mothers picture as tears fell from his eyes.
~
"Edmund didn't know you cried"
"You told him that?! Abba! He didn't say anything wrong..he is already going through a hard time.. " Eun ji sat on her bed
"Then why did you cry?" Her father asked
"..not because of his words but because of his eyes..the first time I saw them..I wanted to cry because I could see him drowning in pain..today..I saw him sinking to the bottom..abba..I cried because I couldn't figure out a way to save him. It's like he wants to be saved but..he's afraid to trust anyone..so he's sinking...I saw a weak light in his eyes..almost disappearing..I cried because..if I don't hold him now..that light will disappear completely abba..but he won't let me help him abba..he won't let me.." Eun ji held her fathers shirt and cried on his shoulder.
"..you feel so deeply eun ji-ah..just like your mother.." he caressed her hair.
"Abba.." eun ji wiped her tears and smiled
"But how are you so sure that you can help him?" He asked
"I'm not sure..but I want to try saving someone..just once before I die.." Eun ji smiled
"..but you're always saving these cats and dogs eun ji.." her father pointed at the pictures of cats and dogs on eun jis wall.
"..saving a human is different abba.." she hugged her abba and asked him to stay like that till she falls asleep.

"I wish you were here to look at your daughter trying to help someone almost like she's saving the world.." Mr.hyun smiled as he looked at the picture of his wife, hanging in the lounge.