Katniss And Gale | "Rainy Days"

Chapter 1

Katniss' P.O.V
I stood still and quiet in my room. Emptiness , after all. I mean I needed some. Buttercup broke that silence. I laid down to the bed, I felt my body tremble. I could here noises that didn't even exist and people cheering for a  girl on fire and a romantic love story of a couple that finally separated , after that rebellion.
"Oh, shut up"  I kept repeating to myself like I spoke to the crowds. There is no girl on fire or Katniss that loves Peeta . It's hypocrisy . Don't you get that? I could feel the wind blowing and my lungs filling up with air as I haled and exhaled. I can  feel the bodies under the ground, I can remember Gale bringing me here and telling me there is no district 12 , my legs while touching those dead bodies.
I take a breath. 
"Prim" I shout . I open my eyes as I feel someone grabbing my shoulder and I immediately turn around , there is nobody I sigh with relief. I hear some footsteps going like Snow's but he is dead , he is with Coin in heaven or somewhere else with games and dead kids. Especially Snow. I wondered if a person like Snow had ever imagined a world with no tyranny with peace and no Games that amuse people who happen to live in gold. But I know, he hasn't so I don't have to waste a minute of my life thinking of him.
I open the white fridge that contains so little , but I have learn to do with them. I'm alone here. I have imaginations for Prim and I constantly imagine how things would be if I had left the city with Gale before the Games , if I hadn't met Peeta, who God knows where he lives. He must be happy. Also, Gale must be happy , in 2 . Being important. Prim must feel...
Come on I say convincing myself to stop. To stop pretending I have a life. To stop pretending I am strong.
I try to imagine my mom's life but I can't concentrate so I grab something from the fridge that is damaged now and I eat it but after a while I end up sobbing and giving a piece of it to the  stupid  cat.
I remember of Haymitch and I shout  Where are you? and I mean a person, not Peeta , not Haymitch.

The woods have changed . I have broke the electricity fence in a particular spot in order to go and do stuff.  Mostly, to relax. I have decided hunting is for two.
But it's not only that. I barely hunt because I find extremely difficult to kill an innocent animal. Even if it seems so useless. I stay at the same spot and I have a great sight in front of me actually. Green trees , green grass that goes so far, I really regret for not having get Prim here before. I leave that thought to go as I move toward a river and drink water. I feel resurrection. Inside and out. I feel both anger and relief , both stupid and loved . I hear mockingjays as I remember Cinna's beautifully dress and the day I had to be  myself. God, I looked at him I saw a different self in his eyes. Not mine. I said  those words just to tell them and I knew they would be my last but I kept saying the same. What they wanted to hear. What he wanted to hear, Cinna.  Poor, innocent Cinna. Like , exactly the mockingjays. I breath , I watch a deer drinking water from the river , I hear birds and I put down my bow. I can't. The deer ,though, has numbered days.