Observer

Breathe

The lesson continued and droned on for the rest of the hour. After maths was finished Beverly left the room and headed to her locker. She got her key from her backpack and twisted it into the hole. It swung open and her bright fuchsia bag lay in there accompanied by her tech projects. They were one whole piece but as she pulled her bag out it was attached to her work. The sanded and glued pieces of wood fell apart leaving a pile of useless timber. "Oh...no"she said exasperated as her hands shook slightly when she pulled the bag away from the crime scene. It was just a piece of wood... That she had spent 12 lessons on... But it was rubbish anyway. She stomped her foot and closed the blue door. She put her key in and frantically twisted it. Her footsteps echoed in the grainy, ashy corridors of the gym as the laughter filled the air.

She stood halfway in the glass corridor, her two feet adverse each other. People pushed past her and with the sea flowing in one direction, she followed. The glass panels became concrete walls and blue doors. Sticky blue carpet was winding through the language corridor. Pushed the door open held it , the air thanked her and the door closed again. An aroma of bleach and cheap soap seeped into the thick air. Adjacent to her, the girls toilets. Harbour of bacteria and girls applying powdery layers of makeup ; this was the danger zone. Avoiding the thought of the bathroom, Beverly continued as a slight shiver spread through her spine. "Bonjour!"M.s. Diaz had exclaimed as she waved. "Salut!" Beverly had enough space to wave but her hand was jammed in the crowd.

Loud, cacophonous sound erupted from inside the frosted doors of the foyer. In she peered and craned her head to look at the long queue that oozed out of the white wooden barriers. Sticky, over varnished mahogany floors stuck to her rubber soles as she joined the back of the queue. Almost weeks since she had been here, it was very strange how she forgot this silence, inside. Waiting, alone in a crowd her thoughts were louder than ever and they drifted as far as they could. Solitude was tranquil and needed considering the society Beverly lived in. Judgemental, loud and selfish. Whoops, there she went again realising what a hypocrite she was.

The queue became smaller and smaller and finally she had got to the front. Frustration broiled in her veins as she saw that the black, heating lamps had barely any food under them. What a waste of time. Behind her the people had decide to be funny by pushing her. Falling forwards, her body fell against the ground. Silver, dots and stars on the floor. Every speck of dust was visible and the laughter became louder and louder. Standing up she brushed off her shoulders and stood back in the line. "Go" The prefect next to her had the decency to tell her when to get her food but not to help her up. The green little badge meant everything if it represented the size of the brain in the peoples head. Of course this didn't apply to everyone but her mind was bitter and the tongue that spoke was sweet.

Grabbing a sandwich from the fridge it didn't really matter what the sandwich was because her feet were about to run a marathon. "Get out of here quick, go then no one will know"she repeated in her head. Finger down on the scanner, sandwich (green cucumber and peach tuna) and walk. The clarity of bright royal blue jumpers and faces of random people became a blur. Eyes warm and brimming, smiling but decaying inside; not a second glance. Blue bin appeared and it disappeared too. Running to her next lesson, first person there.

The changing rooms were empty, and the pink ceiling above came into focus and Beverly breathed deeply. Exhaling and inhaling the buzzing noise of the fan and the sound of her breathing filled the room.

"New changing block annoying isn't it!!"Madison urged Juliette to remember next time that P.E was in here not in the old one. "Hey Beverly" Madison whispered and smiled her hazel brown orbs as warm as her heart. "Hi, Madison. How are you?" Beverly continued, her breathing was steady and eyes dried. "Fine thank you" Madison replied her warm eyes glanced at Beverly's face as they began to change into their P.E kit. Madison was a mysterious girl but she was very sweet once you plucked the courage to talk to her. Bold, and energetic, Madison was so ambitious about her own goals. She never gave up on anything or anyone. She was a brilliant dancer and her gracefulness showed profession in her work. Madison's straight,sandy hair defined her pretty eyes. She wore the smallest amount of makeup but she was perfect without it. A little glimmer in her eye would form when she laughed or even when she was furious. Madison and Beverly knew each other from the start of this year, but Beverly didn't know everyone well enough. Yet she knew so many things.

After changing, Beverly looked at her baggy P.E kit as all of the other girls wore tight navy skirts and t-shirts. Nike and adidas trainers on every pair of feet, brands became so bland to the eye. Hypocritical to this Beverly wore a pair of adidas trainers that she had forever, she loved them. "Girls we are outside. Class merging! 9 girls top and bottom mixing"the teacher yelled above the noise of girls chatting. The doors closed and opened as people exited. Beverly left checking she had packed everything and walked off. The plastic smell was replaced by fresh air as the sun shone from above. Beverly walked at a slow pace foot after foot but as soon as she saw Adlynn and Edith her pace quickened. She hung behind them and sped up to be in a line. She interrupted their conversation and inputted. "Yeah, we should change the song for music totally"she overlapped Edith. She stayed silent as Edith explained " I think it's a good idea, because we were singing such a sad song. Anyways Adlynn are you going to go to the park at the weekend?"

Beverly reached the metal container and waited standing against the brick wall. Her body fell through the wall and she was gone again. She watched as the girls gossiped and shivered. Edith, Adlynn, Cristopher, Juliette and Madison were in a group discussing what they thought they were going to do in pe today. The teacher with the blonde wavy hair called Beverly over and asked her to carry posts to the field. Rounders.

Beverly set up the pitch and walked to a patch of grass and stood. They approached one by one but no one stood next to her. Beverly didn't expect an army but it didn't stop her heart from dropping. She picked up every detail and flaw in herself and accepted that everyone saw them too. Ok. She tagged along moving to where they sat and she sat on the slightly damp grass. Picking daises and tying them Madison gave one to her. "Smallest daisy I could find"she smiled and placed it in Beverly's hand. "Thank you Madison"she replied but Madison had already been split into teams. Her real P.e teacher seemed to enjoy the silence Beverly had, so she isolated Beverly into another group with the other people who had been left over. "Ok let's start"Miss spoke and stood by the side with a clipboard.

Everyone distributed and Beverly's sinking slowly subsided, they hadn't noticed she was on the other team so she forgot too. When the first round was over Beverly batted it to the side. Pathetically she ran around the entire four bases. She got a rounder. "Well done" miss praised her and Beverly stood on the side. Beverly didn't say anything because it wasn't a miracle or anything that seemed to please her. It the the attention of the peers that made her interested yet lose hope entirely. It returned inside her, sorrow. A mild sorrow for she had not know what real grief was. She hadn't been starving or dying or seeing death occur in front of her. It was an imaginary emotion that accompanied her emptiness. The void became deeper as she heard Maya and a group of girls talking about her. "Yeah i know.. Smh"they spoke, voice slowly drawling like venom. It was hard to believe that it became part of the daily routine.

After the game had finished , the sun gently warmed Beverly's back as the results were lectured. "So team 1. Beverly, Amanda, Romily. You won. Pack away and you can head over to the changing rooms"Miss struggle to finish her sentence as people started to walk away. The lesson had ended on a lighter note as Beverly held the posts, walking on the silky strands of grass.