My Secret

Chapter 1 - Freedom

Chapter 1 - Freedom

"Mom please, payagan mo na ako. bored na bored na ako dito sa bahay e." Me. Kahit alam kung imposible , malay naman natin diba pumayag.

"I already said no. Ano ba? Pwede wag matigas ang ulo ang dami kung paper works oh. You go back to your room. NOW!" My mom said. Emphasizing the word now. Hays im expecting this already. Nakayuko akong lumabas ng office nya dito sa bahay. Yes may office sya dito sa bahay namin, kaya nga wala na syang time sakin e.

*BEDROOM*

Summer ngayon. At eto andito ako sa bahay. Almost 2 weeks narin simula nung nag bakasyon . Kanina pa ako dada ng dada di pa pala ako nagpapakilala hehe *peace sign*

Hi i'm Scarlett Nathalia Ford Rodriguez. My family used to call me Scarlett, but the real thing is I don't like that name mas prefer ko kung Nathalia or Thalia na lang :) i'm 16 years old and turning 17 on September 18. Grade 11 na this school year. Studying at Mendez University. My moms name is Nadia Ford Rodriguez and my father is Stephen Mendoza Rodriguez. I have also my kuya his name is Steven Nathan Ford Rodriguez, siya nga lang ata nagmamahal sakin dito sa bahay e. Siya lang din ata ang tinuturing na anak nila mommy and daddy pero kahit ganon di ako nainggit nainyindihan ko naman kasi almost perfect na si kuya. My kuya is 18 years old turning 19 on September 25 and yes magkasunod lang birthday namin. For me he is the best kuya hehe enough na kay kuya about sakin naman..

I'll describe myself. I'm simple, beautiful, kind and everyone say that i have all things with. Yung itsura ko naman i have a big eyes na color brown tapos mahaba ang pilik mata ko, matangos ang ilong ko, manipis ang lips ko na parang baby parin ang pagkapula, long straight hair na hanggang butt ko, matangkad ako at maputi. They even say that im perfect but no.. i'm not :( all i want from my parents is to give me freedom, na mukang hinding hindi nila maibibigay sakin. I love them but you cant blame me if i will start to hate them. Si dad nasa U.S. sya because of business trip. Yes we have our own company named Rodriguez Company at dahil wala si dad si mom ang naghahandle nun. I cant even feel if they really love me, yes they give EVERYTHING to me, but love? I dont know if they still love me. Buti pa si kuya.. kaso he's not here. Kasama sya ni dad kasi sinasanay na sya about business wala tuloy akong kakampi..

Mabait ako , sobra. Lagi ko silang iniintindi pero kung ganto palagi? Parang gusto kong tumakas at idepensa ang sarili ko. But knowing myself to be like that, made me hate myself. I don't know what to do anymore.

Oo pinapayagan ako lumabas but always with my bodyguards or yaya. Im too old for this! I end up just laying on my bed and thinking.. overthinking.

"Kuya sana.. sana nandito ka.." Yan nalang ang sinabi ko at di na napigilan ang mga luhang nagbabadyang lumabas sa mga mata ko hanggang sa nakatulog na ako.

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The day after my little argument with mom. Di ako lumalabas ng kwarto ko. Dinadalhan lang ako ng food ni Nanay Imelda. My yaya since birth at isa sya sa kakampi ko, gusto nya kong kausapin pero gusto ko muna mapag-isa. All i want is my kuya right now. Wala akong ibang ginawa dito sa kwarto kundi manood ng tv, mag cellphone and mag internet. Im doing this for almost 2 weeks. Yes two weeks na akong di nalabas ng kwarto, gabi gabi umiiyak ako yet my mom didn't go here to my room. Maybe she didnt notice me yet? Or she doesn't really care for me.

"Kuya kelan ka ba uuwi? Ang tagal no naman e" Di ko nanaman napigilan ang luha ko.

(Ring Ring Ring)

Thats my phone i answered it without looking kung sino tumawag sakin.

"Hello" Me.
"Anyare teh? Ba't ganyan boses mo? May sakit ka ba?" My bestfriend Kate Blaire Montes (ipapakilala sa chapter 3)
"I can't take this anymore. World hates me so much! First him , then now my parents? I dont know what to do anymore. Lalo pa ngayon na wala si kuya sa tabi ko.." I said to her while im crying.. again.
"Just always remember that im just here by your side ok? Uuwi din dyan si Steven. Now you take a rest. I have to go now. I need to take a rest also. I'll visit you one of these day pag di na ako busy. I love you mongs" Blaire.
"Bye." At binaba ko na ang tawag.

Its already 11:15 pm at di parin ako inaantok. I just stared at my phone, nakita ko yung wallpaper ko. I'm so happy in this picture , i'm with my kuya Blake. I wanted to dial him but i can't i dont want to be selfish baka mag alala lang sya at umuwi na agad dito knowing him gagawin nya talaga yun. Ayan nanaman yung luha ko.. hays kelan ka ba titigil? Mapapagod? Mauubos? Ayoko na. Kahit anong pahid gawin ko kusang tumutulo luha ko.

*knock knock*

"Nene." Its yaya imelda i used to call her Nanay melda.

"Nanay melda please.. all i want is to be alone. Please leave me alone!" I know mayadong harsh pero yun ang gusto ko sa ngayon. Wala nanaman akong narinig sakanya.

I looked again to my phone and go to the photos and there i saw my pictures with him.. my first love and also my first heartbreak. Until now.. I'm still hurt!

Umiyak lang ako ng umiyak.. hanggang sa mapagod ako at makatulog

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Next chapter ;)
Sorry sa typos.