“Move out of my way you freak!”
I was shoved to the floor by my brother, Nate. Taken by surprise, I fell to the floor on my butt with a soft thump. Slowly, I started to stand back up but was kicked in the gut and fell back to the floor. My face didn’t show anything, it didn’t show any pain, any hurt, it stayed emotionless. On the inside though, my body was screaming from the hard hit I had received.
Once again I attempted to stand only receive several more kicks in my stomach, this time it wasn’t only my brother though, his so called friends decided to join in with the “fun”. They just kept laughing and kicking me while I curled into a small ball with my body attempting to shield myself from their blows, it wasn't working. I hurt all over. My brain was screaming Bloody Murder but I didn't listen to it. I let out no scream, no cry, no noise was heard, and this irritated them. As soon as they realized that I wouldn’t make any sounds and didn’t look like I was going to react, one of them asked
“Yo Nate, what the hell’s wrong with her?”
And another one added “she aint crin' or nothing dog, why don’t you give her one of ‘em punches!” and they all started shouting agreements with him. I still don't understand what’s wrong with his friends? What's wrong with him? Couldn't Nate see that his friends were just using him? Why was he letting them hurt me?
For the first time in a long time, I saw Nate hesitate.
“Is there a problem?” I heard someone ask from behind me. I woundered who that was? Was someone about to try and stop Nate and his friends? I quickly demolished the small spark of hope from in me. Of course not, one of his friends was probably angry I wasn’t screaming yet. Curiously, I looked back to see who had spoken. A guy called “Big Jam” was standing there. He had black hair that was spiked up and grey eyes. Small stubble of black hair was starting on his sharp jaw that he had clenched. He was tall and from the way his black shirt hugged him, I could see what looked to be a 6 pack through his shirt. Of course, I was right. Jam was part of Nate’s “crew”, he was actually the leader of them.
He was glaring at my brother, “don’t just stand there idiot! Punch her already!” He screamed at my brother. Nate flinched but did as he was told. Nate hit me, hard, landing his fist on my stomach. Pain spread through me like a fire. Burning me. I couldn’t take it anymore. Though I still made no sound, I let unconsciousness take over me.
~~~~~~
I woke up with a sore body but that’s nothing new, it was a regular occurrence for me now. I was always beat; it’s been this way since I was 9. I remember it like it was yesterday....
Flashback
I jumped up and bolted up the stairs with a huge grin on my face.
“Nate! Nate!” I screamed in excitement
I couldn’t contain my loud giggling and girly shrieks as i ran to my bedroom. Nate always made my birthdays the BEST!
Nate was sitting there on my bed; there were 2 presents on my bed. Without even thinking, I ran to them and started opening one when he slapped my hand, I looked at him with tears in my eyes, “You’re so ungrateful and stupid, you don’t even deserve these gifts, you don’t even deserve a family, you don’t even deserve to live!” he screamed at me with so much hatred and disgust.
9 year old me filled with confusion and sadness. I got up and ran to the bathroom with tears streaming down my face
What had I done? Why was Nate so angry with me?
It had been the first time Nate had ever raised his voice at me. Never before had he even been angry with me
I quickly turned on the tap and washed my face clean of tears. Nate always told me that if anyone ever hurt me or made me sad, I shouldn’t cry or show them they hurt me because then they’ll know that I’m weak and would use it to their advantage. He told me that weak people always lost. He said that I should always be brave and not let anyone see that they could hurt me. The brave ones were always the ones that succeeded in life he had said.
I unlocked the door and walked towards Nate’s room. The door was slightly opened and i could hear his voice through it.
“yea Jam....I’m sorry i cant come, it’s my sisters birthday today” he was talking to one of his friends and sounded apologetic that he had to stay.
I didn’t want him to be angry with me so I knocked on his door.
Nate looked up and his eyes turned angry again
“I’ll call you later....kay bye” he hung up the phone and walked towards me. Before a could even say a word, he shoved me and slammed the door shut on my face.
From that day forward he said mean and hateful things to me and then the beating came, and to this day, I don’t know what I had done to anger him.
End of Flashback
How i long for those days when Nate loved me....
I looked around to realize that I was still on the cold, hard floor. I tried to stand up but flinched as the pain invaded my body. I hear the T.V sounds coming from the living room. Trying to avoid my mother, I walked towards the stairs quickly, as quietly as I could manage. No such luck.
“Ivory, come here” mom calls.
“’Kay,” I replied back and walk into a brightly lit living room.
“Why isn’t dinner ready? What have you been doing all day?" Looks like she had a stressful day at work today. She continued on "Tonight’s your turn remember? What are we going to eat now! What about your father? What will he eat?” she scolded me.
I made the mistake of flinching; it showed her I was weak, I was capable of being hurt. Her face softened and she whispered sorry thinking I didn’t hear her, she composed herself and gave a loud, dramatic sigh and said,
“I guess I can order pizza today, you can have a day off of cooking” She turned around, picking up the phone to order.
My mother barley ever yelled at me, and was completely oblivious to what Nate did to me. I never told her, she was a sweet lady and I didn’t think she could handle it.
I smiled a little. I didn’t have to cook today, thank God. I don’t think I could’ve stood there anyways. Exhaustion took over me as I quietly made my way up to my room.
Heyy! This is the first time I'm writing soo....i hope its good so far!
Diya
