A Submissive To A Woman (Book 1) 18+

Chapter 15 "Monster"

ANASTASIA P.O.V

It was now morning I looked over to the side of me to see mayleen sleeping peacefully with her arm wrapped around me. It was different for me to have a woman sleeping in the same bed with me, before mayleen I would have never allowed it.

Before mayleen I would have never thought about marriage but she had me doing all kinds of things that I swore that I'd never do but here I was married to her and letting her sleep in the same bed as me. I was being more then a dominant, I was letting my feeling get involved. I was becoming to invested in her.

The weird part about it was that I didn't want to stop it. I knew how much I was starting to love and fall for her but I just couldn't stop myself. I knew it was wrong for me to put a marriage license in the contract but I was selfish. I wanted her by any means necessary and I didn't care how.

A stir from the bed interrupted my train of thought. I looked over to see mayleen sitting up her once beautiful locks were now an angelic mess and yet she still looked as beautiful as any.

"Punish me" her goddess voice spoke before I could even register what she was saying. She spoke again "I want you to punish me" I gave her a look of agony

I didnt us to be like this. I was different back then but now it was so certain that I craved control. I craved to have a submissive graveling at my feet and I did. It was like that for awhile until. . . . mayleen came along.

"No" I whispered more to myself than to her. Her face turned into a confused expression "You don't get to tell me when to please you or when to punish you. I'm the dominant one here, I shouldn't need to remind you" I stated a little to harshly.

"Why do you want to change me? I've given you what you wanted. I'm your submissive and not only that but I am your wife" she spat back at me.

I quickly rose from the bed walking over to her side. I put my hands on her cheek and caressed it softly "can't you see that it is you who's changing me?" I spoke into a whisper

She put her hand out to touch my cheek. I flinched a little before moving away from her.

"You're afraid" she stated before standing up as if something had registered in her "That's why you won't let me touch you. You're afraid"

"Mayleen I am not afraid I just don't like being touched unless I'm touching you."

"Is this your way of punishing me Anastasia?" She said as tears welled up in her eyes. Mere shocked spreaded across my face and before I could speak she cut me off "You won't allow me to know you" she stated "I don't get you, why are you like this?" She croaked out "Why do you even wanna punish me at all?" She cried.

I didn't know what to say to this or how to react to this because somewhere deep down I knew mayleen was right. I was afraid and I wasnt going to show her that nor was I going to tell her. For some reason I had grown angry with her and it started to take over me. A sadistic feeling coursed through me

I turned around as I pushed mayleen against the wall. She was now in a big white t-shirt of mine that stopped at her knees and I could see the pair of black panties she had on under it. My hands wrapped around her throat "Is this what you wanted" I said with a sadistic smirk I lifted her leg up while ripping her panties off with my hand.

She gasped as she seen the look in my eyes "Wait!" She looked at me in pure horror "Anastasia Wait!" She said and it was like I was in another world, a world where my anger consumed me. I lifted her up by her legs as she wrapped her hands around my neck I threw her on the bed.

She scooted back againsted the head board as far as she could as if I was a predator seeking prey. "Ana" I heard her say and that's when I snapped out of it. The look on mayleen's face made me feel like a monster

Rule #1: never punish when you are angry. Stop and take a little time and think, don't lash out or do anything rashly.

I looked at mayleen for a second longer and she almost looked afraid of me. It was the worst thing to see.

"Mayleen I-I.." I couldn't bring myself to finish. So I walked away, I walked out of the room as fast as I could.

I bumped into one of the maids. I turned around as I seen sarah "oh i'm so sorry miss grey." She spoke in a scared tone. "It's alright Sarah" her faced turned into a shocked expression as I said her name but before she could say another word I waved my hand dismissively at her before walking away.

I couldn't believe myself, I was mad that I let my anger take over. For a split second I let my anger consume me. I wanted to apology to mayleen but I felt so selfish, I felt like a monster and a monster is what I was and all this time I've been trying to fight it but to no avail it consumed me.

I went into the room across the hall. Once I entered I fell into a pit of rage. My fist punched the wall as a massive whole boomed to life inside it. I went inside the bathroom as I looked at myself in the mirror and I couldn't recognize the person staring back at me. Rage coursed through me yet again as I brought my fist to the mirror hitting it shattering the glass to pieces.

I sat there on the floor for hours beating myself up. Not only was mayleen my submissive but I had to realize and get use to the fact that she was now my wife .

I needed to remember that

I was still sitting on the floor when I heard the door creak open. I heard a few gasp as they got closer. Once the person got to the bathroom, I realized it was mayleen. I scooted away from her as fast as possible

"Ana" she spoke sadly "What have you done to yourself"

"I'm a monster can't you see" I cried out and for the first time in my life I was crying. Tears spilled out as I looked over at mayleen, she now had a shocked look on her face before she ignored my pleads for her to stay away from me. Seconds later she engulfed me in a hug

"You're not a monster and if you're then I guess I'm an idiot for loving you" she stated before hugging me tighter

"I don't deserve you mayleen"

"But Anastasia I deserve you"