*twenty chapters omg! thanks if you've read this far*
Patrick P.O.V.
We drove back to Pete's house in silence.
I could tell wanted to ask me what happened but I must've looked really broken up because he didn't say anything.
He pulled into his driveway and I quickly got out, throwing my bag over my shoulder and slamming the door behind me.
Pete ran after me as I stormed off into his house. I collapsed onto the couch and let a few silent tears fall.
"Patrick," Pete said tentatively.
I mumbled in response.
"'Trick, what happened? Why was she there?" Pete asked, sitting on the armchair next to the couch.
I pushed myself up and pulled my knees up to my chest. "I don't know," I mumbled.
Pete moved to sit next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. "Come on, buddy. Talk to me."
I took a shaky breath. "I walked into the house and Declan was there, in the living room. I haven't seen him in, what, two months now?
"I picked him up and hugged the life out of him. Then Elisa came in. I told her I'd be out as soon as possible. But then she said she wanted me back," I said.
"Well that's good, isn't it? Don't you miss her?" Pete asked.
He can be so thick sometimes.
"Yeah, of course I miss her. She is... was... my wife. But I don't know if I can forgive her. You remember what I did after she left?"
"Course I do. I don't think I've ever been more scared," Pete said.
"I only did that because I knew, if I didn't get some drinks in me, I would've jumped off a bridge. I felt so worthless and used. No one would have missed me if I-"
"Don't fucking say that, 'Trick. Don't you dare. You know, I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you. I love you. That's not in a romantic way, man. I mean, I can't imagine a life without my little 'Rick ta life. Don't say that no one would miss you, because that's bullshit."
Pete hugged me tight, but also gently. The way you would hold a wine glass if you were afraid of breaking it.
"I'm sorry," I cried into his shoulder.
He rubbed my back as I cried. "Don't be sorry, buddy. Just know, you die, I die."
After I calmed down, he said ,"What happened next?"
I sniffled. "I told her I couldn't take her back. That I couldn't forgive her. Then she started begging. Pete, it hurt. So bad. I'd rather fucking go into another fire than have to do that again. Than you came and you know what happens from there."
Pete held me tighter. "'Hey, Trick, why don't you go shower and get changed? You've been through a roller coaster today. You need some sleep."
I nodded and stood up shakily. I stumbled my way to the bathroom and locked the door.
I took off my shirt and looked in the mirror. I was a little surprised by what I saw.
*small trigger warning. ily*
I could see faint outlines of my ribs and my collar bone stuck out. My hip bones jutted out like cliffs.
As I looked at my body, I started having thoughts I haven't had in a long time.
No, I can't do that again. Pete would kill me.
Then again, I already feel like I'm dead. There's really nothing to lose.
I shook my head and scratched at my skin as I showered. I finished and wrapped a towel around my waist. I noticed the skin I had scratched was red and some skin had peeled off.
I was walking back to the guest room with a towel around my waist when Pete walked into the hallway.
It was no big deal, he had seen me shirtless before. But he seemed taken aback. "God, Patrick, you're so skinny."
I looked down and pushed passed him into my room. I slipped on some pajamas and laid down on the bed.
But my brain wouldn't shut up.
I wouldn't be sleeping for a while now.
