Patrick P.O.V.
I feel like I'm floating, for two reasons actually.
One, I had my wife back. I had my son back. I could live with the women I love again. We'll grow old and grey together. My source of happiness is back. The stars aligned and so did our lips.
Secondly, you know that feeling you get when you stayed all night to study for an exam? You literally got no sleep? Nothing seems real. It's like you're on drugs or something. Everything is floaty.
Ever since the fire, I haven't had a proper night's sleep. Whether it be fear of nightmares or bad thoughts, I didn't let myself sleep. The last time I fell asleep happily was the night before the fire on the bus. My life since that morning has been waking up in cold sweats, or not falling asleep at all. Tossing and turning while dark thoughts swirl around in my head like a witch's brew.
When I was at the hospital, the only reason I slept was because they were pumping sleeping medication into my veins (without my consent, I might add). Pete must've told the doctors I wasn't sleeping. Thinking back, it was probably what I needed. But at the time, sleep was the worst thing that could happen. Then, sleep meant horrible nightmares in which I relived the pain I was in every night.
Now, sleep is slightly better. Of course, I still get nightmares. But some of them weren't as horrible as they were the weeks after the fire. Most of them involved Elisa leaving, but worse. First Elisa, then Pete, Andy, Joe, sometimes even an adult Declan. Those are so much worse than the nightmares reliving the fires. I can handle physical pain, but if I lost everyone... I wouldn't have a reason to live. The only reason I'm alive is because of the band.
I haven't told Pete of the nightmares where he leaves me. That would paint me in such a negative light. I can't have him thinking of me so weak. It's downright embarrassing. Plus, I've caused him enough trouble and worry. I shouldn't bother him anymore.
I didn't sleep at all last night. I was too worried about Elisa, even though the doctor told me she should be able to leave tomorrow. I just... I can't imagine what I would do if she died. I remember what I did when she left, I can only dream of what I'd do if she was dead.
Currently, it was about 8 AM. I was seated next to Elisa's hospital bed. She was asleep, her hair cascading on the pillow around her like chocolate syrup on a brownie. I held her hand in mine, our wedding rings touching every so often. I smiled every time I saw our wedding bands together. It just reminded me of what I'd almost lost.
I heard a knock at the door, followed by the creak of the door opening. A young nurse with brown wavy hair pulled into a ponytail peeked her head in, then stepped in. "Christina" was stitched into her shirt.
"How did she sleep?" the girl asked as she fiddled with the IV.
"Peacefully. I sat next to her all night," I said blissfully.
"You must love her a lot if you're willing to sit awake next to her all night," the nurse said.
I nodded. "Not really 'willing to'. I tried to fall asleep, I really did. But I kept worrying about her," I said, gripping my wife's hand a little tighter.
"She's a lucky woman, Mr. Stump," the nurse said, then left the room. What a sweet girl.
I looked at Elisa. Her eyelids opened to reveal the mocha ocean underneath. I smiled at her.
"Morning, beautiful," I said, kissing her nose.
She kissed my cheek. "Morning, even more beautiful," she responded, her voice sounding like silk.
