a messy canvas

Polaroids [Tronnor]

At the time, the polaroids had been a perfect capture for all the memories they shared together. Nothing could take away what they showcased, no matter how much time had passed to where retrieving the basics would be troublesome. But as he looked over them all now, each individual frame scattered across his mint green bedsheets, Connor wanted nothing more than to burst into tears.

The first one ever taken with the pastel blue polaroid camera had been on his seventeenth birthday, when his mother surprised him and couldn't keep herself from having the beaming smile he had forever printed out for their eyes to witness. Troye had been right beside him with his tongue playfully stuck out while he placed bunny ears behind Connor's head with his slender fingers. Sticking practically to Connor's hip where he always seemed to be ever since they started second grade, because they were seemingly the perfect fit from the beginning.

The second came from Halloween, the two of them all decked out in costumes that complimented their personalities effortlessly. Troye, being the ever so humorous, decided on following through with one of the biggest stereotypes (that being a vampire) in 'an act of ultimate sarcasm'. Per Connor's request to add some sense of who he was into the costume, he had added a coat of blood red nail polish to his nails. Connor on the other hand had gone with dressing up with the inspiration of one of his favorite book characters in mind, that being Charlie from The Perks of being a Wallflower.

The next snapshot came from December, right as they were attempting to study for their midterms when in actual fact, the break soon approaching was weighing in on their minds much more. He had tried capturing the beauty behind Troye's features while in a focused state, but the noise coming from the camera had instead caught his attention to where all you could make out was the blurs of his hands trying to shield himself out from the flash's perspective. There were three more photographs Connor took at an attempt to make up for the lost moment, and indeed the last one made the messy turnouts worthwhile in Connor's eyes. He ended up with an overenthusiastic glistened grin that displayed the birthmark on his cheek, which was usually faint across his face, a bit more obviously to where Connor couldn't help but offer a smile towards when he paid a close eye to it. Even with his so called imperfections, to him Troye Sivan Mellet would always be beautiful.

A few months were spread between when the last and next pictures were taken, for Connor had some inner struggles to conquer to where capturing memories just felt like the lightest of the many weights on his chest.

In hopes of gaining bits of the nostalgic touches towards his reality then where things just made sense, Connor had invited Troye over to his that spring break. He noticed the other had taken a liking towards Oh Wonder in the time the two of them had been apart, for a vinyl cover served its evident reminder in the right corner of the frame beside where Connor had once kept his prized record player. They sang along to the tunes coming from that thing for hours, Troye being insistent on slow dancing with him during his favorite song, Heart Hope.

Out of all the precious captures, he couldn't help but recall how the next ones had always been Troye's favorite. It was taken in late May, just as the flowers in the Mellet's garden were in the process of blooming. Rather than getting in trouble for picking out the daisies from his mother's hard work as he had each year this time rolled around, Troye had the bright idea of searching elsewhere.

Connor had managed to find a wildflower field not too far away just as the sun was setting, streaks of vibrant orange and muted yellow painting the sky as if one designed the scene with a photograph in mind for it to be properly appreciated. While he was busy trying to make these shots true in showcasing the sight, Troye busily went on to fumble up at least one decent flower crown before they had to leave the lovely setting behind them.

The sunset made up four polaroid photos in total, two ending up meeting Connor's hopes in showcasing its true beauty. Seeing as Troye had been successful in making his flower crown, in an act of spontaneity he took the boy's prized camera and captured two memories of his own, that being the created crown set carefully on the ground with small buds and grass blades surrounding it and a candid of Connor while he was looking over his own photos with a small grin apparent enough for the snap to catch.

The last bunch within this set of polaroids came to life in the very start of that year's summer vacation in June. Troye had been persistent on this get together happening, so much so that he offered to pay for Connor's ice cream at the mention of the outing. He hadn't thought much of it back then, seeing it more as a pay back for all the times he had paid for treats on Troye's behalf.

Their orders of raspberry swirl and rocky road made their melty appearances obvious from the moment that the cones were handed off to them. Now with a ton of napkins and the backdrop of the ice cream parlor at their disposal, of course Connor had taken the opportunity to capture his best friend's cheerful giggle as he licked away the dripping chocolate ice cream coating his cone clean. The classic pastel stripes of the faded wallpaper were a match made in heaven for the boy's outfit choice, which consisted of a plain muted pink shirt with light gray athletic shorts that had the same shade of a pink as an accent on the sides and to bring everything together, gray and pink striped socks alongside white converse.

Little conversation was shared that day, which Connor had found a bit odd but pushed aside because he had thought they'd have all the time in the world to speak the volumes inside their heads. If only he'd known.

As it turns out, Troye's family moved back to Australia five days after the ice cream adventure. Connor hadn't received any warning for the event, only a moving van parked next door taking all the Mellet's belongings away.

Nostalgia hit him like a truck every so often. He missed Troye with every pulse that ran through his body, but there was no way to contact him to try and fix the wounds inside. You'd think that a year would be enough time to come to terms with the sudden goodbye. Alas, all he wanted for his last summer in this blue neighborhood was to have his best friend back to make memories that were spent living in the moment, rather than through the lenses of a polaroid camera.