Trust (Doctor Who Fanfiction-Complete)

Time Lord Curiosity (6)

He watched her through his monitor. The man was a couple miles away but was very curious to see what she would do. He had put out weapons for her. He didn't want her to be scared. But that means he has to watch her because he also didn't want her to start shooting up the market place! He watched closely as she looked like she was going to grab the baseball bat. Then he saw her freeze. What was she thinking? Was she going to go back into her room? He had half expected she wouldn't leave it in the first place. Oh Cass, what are you doing?

He bit his lip as he went back through her timeline in his mind. After he tried to kill her he quickly realized that his assumption was wrong. He felt the guilt wrack his body again as he tried to predict what she would do. He was disappointed when she picked up the gun. Then he silently cursed himself for being so. Those days of Doctor Good, Doctor I Don't Use A Weapon, Doctor I Don't Travel With Anyone Who Would Use A Weapon are over.

He thought of the last 400 years and all the species he could have helped but ignored. Every dark day that he turned his ears away from the cries for help. He as good as killed them himself. He cleared his mind of such thoughts and focused on the screen again.

What is she doing now? She looked like she was having a panic attack. Great, another one of those humans. He pushed his hand back through his hair wondering if he should go back for her. He looked at the door of the big Kadji building. He had no idea why he wanted to go in. The terrifying race of the Kadjis, or so they used to be. The Sand People claim that the Suits are stealing their children but why did he care really? It sounded like the typical story of rich over poor that every planet has had to go through in some point in their history. Although, probably not the Ood.

Either way, he should not care. Is he so soft that another human girl is back on his TARDIS and all of a sudden he is out solving everyone's problems all over again? Tasha's face flooded his thoughts and he had to shake his head to clear it before he looked back down at the monitor. Come on, Come on. I don't have all day I just need to see if you leave or if you stay. I need to make sure I know where you are is all!

He almost threw the monitor back in his pocket when he saw her hand flinch as she started to move the gun. He felt his hearts rush as he realized what she was doing and quickly he slammed on some keys making the TARDIS doors fly open. His breathing came fast as he started to run back to the TARDIS for her. Damn it Cass. Damn it.

He stopped short as she went to pick the gun up again. Already he was hitting at some keys in a last desperate attempt to get the TARDIS to protect her, when she set the gun back down and walked towards the door. He rushed back into the shadows of the tall buildings. He was surprised that she went towards the door without even the baseball bat.

Then again, he supposed he knew why she didn't feel the need for any protection. He heard her in his mind again, "Do it" and felt as though he would puke. When did this happen to him? When did he change so much? He was about to kill her. Without a second thought. He pushed the button that should've ended her life. That was who he was now. A monster rather than a Doctor.

He watched as she stole a fruit from the market and ate it. Why wasn't she freaking out? She isn't even on the same planet and she is just casually strolling through the marketplace. Finally, he saw her look up at the moons in the sky. He saw the realization dawn on her that this was something bigger than she expected. He was grateful in that moment for the TARDIS's monitor to be able to track her because when she looked up he saw a child-like wonder in her eyes. Briefly he felt triumphant as she pulled out her sketchbook. Then, she threw the sketch pad away from her and he saw the wonder on her face replaced with pain and loss. 

He turned off the monitor and closed his eyes for a moment. "Do it" he heard her whisper again.