I Hope You Dance

10

Mother woke me up real early. It's just 4:00 am. She's inside my room trying to stop her tears after lending the small white envelope she's bringing with her. It's a letter from my father. I hesitated to open it but my inner curiousity pushed me to do it. While removing the folded A-4 sized paper from the envelope, all I can feel is the tension and fright of what news is inside.

Dear Mildred and Jenna,

   Hello. It's been so long right? I know this letter is so old and out of trend but it's the only way I could communicate with you. I don't care. As long as this will come at your mailbox, I'm okay with that.
   Why I wrote this? Because I just want to apologize. I know I'm being impossible because I can say this to you both personally but I just can't have the guts and confidence to face you. And I'm sorry for that.
    If you'd wonder, I wrote this in September 15, 2013. The 18th Birthday of Jenna. But I decided to let my family here send this to you right after I'll be buried.

My tears went down all in sudden and I can't stop it. I threw the paper and mother came beside me and tried to comfort me. I can't hear any words from mother or even a tish. A total zero. Until I couldn't catch my breath. I'm feeling so weak and I couldn't speak out to tell mother what I'm feeling. Then the place starts to go blur. I'm really getting even scared. Mother got nervous and tensioned. She took my bag and searched for my nebulizer. All in a sudden I felt it's in my mouth and I enhaled it real hard like a real weak and helpless person. After quite a while of enhaling, I'm starting to feel okay. Mother positioned me properly and hugged me tightly.

I can hear mother crying even heavier. I made her feel so worried and summed to the pain she's bringing with her now.

"I'm sorry Mo ---"

"It's not your fault dear." She said softly through my ears. She's still sobbing. Tears flow down from her helpless eyes and routes down to my weary face.