Disappointed to be a human

Dad jokes pt. 1

A/N some of these I found online some I made up of friends made up

  What do you call a truck driver who's also a pedophile?
A SCREWDRIVER 😹
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   Stubs toe "MOTHERFUCKER"
Dad pops head out "you called"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do You call a violin that is silent
VIOLENCE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you call a violin that's also a chicken?
VIOLENCE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So an alien comes down to earth and somebody ask if he is hungry, he learns the words"yes, yes, yes"
The person then ask if he would like some utensils, he learns the words "forks and knives, forks and knives"
So the alien goes to a hair parlor and when the barber ask what he wants done the alien learns the words, " snip snap, snip snap, snip snap"
The alien then goes to church and learns the words, " hallelujah, hallelujah"
Then a cop ask did you kill that man. The alien replied " yes yes yes." The cop then ask what weapon did you use, the alien replied with " forks and knives, forks and knives." Then the cop asked what sound did it make, the alien replied with, " snip snap, snip snap, snip snap"
The cop finally puts handcuffs on him and says You are now going to go to jail. The alien replied "hallelujah, hallelujah"