Disappointed to be a human

Wendylin Wayne

"The Tale of Wendylin Wayne" by Brandon Rogers

Wendylin Wayne was eight years old.
She loved a boy named Gary Gold
She'd follow him here,
and stalk him there.
Watched him floss
and comb his hair!

But alas, Gary Gold could not say the same
for rumors have spread of poor Wendylin Wayne.
These tales, though harsh, seemed heavenly true,
that Wendy was a witch, practicing horrible voodoo.

Some say she lived in a cottage of bones
of the children she ate in their very own homes.

Some say she casts spells
to make gnomes come to life,
chasing children down halls
with a long, rusty knife.

Some say she's a spy,
who's cleverly sly,
who eats dogs and cats
in the midst of July.

But why
oh why
would these other runts lie?
Spreading fake truths
making Wendylin cry?

But soon, years had passed and the tables had turned.
Wendylin grew gorgeous and Gary had burned.
His looks-- once handsome and filled with such pride
Had faded away, resembling worn-out cow hide.

His head, twice the size
bags under his eyes
his pride-- rather full
and his morals-- minimized.

But Wendy's strong heart, oh how it still throbbed
for Gary all these years, for this modern-day snob.

And soon, one fine day,
on the third of May,
she approached Gary Gold,
and she started to say:

"Mary me, will you? You're greedy and cold,
but in my own eyes, you're still Gary Gold.
I've loved you the same since day number one."
But Gary was scared; he wanted to run!

"Had I not been so weak," he told her in fear.
"I'd quite run away! All the way 'till next year!
You're a witch!" He screamed in a few quick screeches.
"You'll stab me and boil me! then feed me to leeches!"

"Please! Oh please!" Wendylin cries,
looking so beautiful through her teary blue eyes,
"Those are lies! Big lies! Such terrible lies!
My love for you is of tremendously large size!"

Gary was disturbed by this feeling he felt.
What heart he had left, well... it started to melt.

Celebration soon followed
their heartfelt carouse,
and before they knew it,
They had finished their vows.

And in their handsome suite,
in room six sixty-six,
he said "I'm so sorry, Wendy,
for those years we were kids.
You were falsely accused
for a crime you had never done.
I see now you're a normal girl,
and quite a beautiful one."

And then...

She bit his neck and yanked rather hard.
Blood must have fountained at least a good yard!
Then, with green ribbon-- she strangled him too!
Took a brush out and painted him blue.

He hollered and fussed,
but despite his screeches,
she boiled him alive,
and fed him to leeches.

Threw him in the tub-- beneath the shower head.
Bangbangbang-- she shot him dead.

Looking down upon him,
feasting on his liver,
she began to cackle
and started to quiver.

"I hope you learned your lesson,
you arrogant little bitch.
Never trust Wendylin Wayne,
The wicked, wicked witch."