BREATHE

Part 5

"You realize that It passed like three years since we talked for the last time?, Are you crazy? Why are you calling me after three years?, If you have the idea of being friends, I'll tell you that you are so wrong. I am not going back to that shit with you, you broke me and now you are trying to make the things right, you say, why? just tell me why should I believe in your words ?, You abandoned me! don't you remember?, I travelled for all the country looking for you, and you only called me once to tell that you had to do it. It isn't fair! please stop calling me. I'm not the way I just to be, I moved on"

-Camila-

I thought I was happy with my new life, I had been studying and working, I have two really true friends and I have a boyfriend now. Once a twice I think about her, I think about her smile and her eyes, omg those emerald eyes that used to fall rendered, but then I wake up and I go back to the reality, It has passed three years since we talk for the last time. I am not sure why this week I was thinking of her that much, but know I have to do something about it.

I convinced myself that calling her was the right thing to do. I needed to fix all the damage I made in the past. I tried to get her number the whole week, I did not get it until yesterday.

I was walking across new york city after work to buy a coffee in starbucks when I saw a magazine which catched my eye. I moved closer to the magazine's store to take a look, in the cover of Mode magazine was her, stunning as always, wearing an amazing black dress which highlighted those incredible eyes, her loose hair falling naturally over his right shoulder. Literally I was on shock, I bought the magazine to know what was about. I felt it was the destiny sending signals to me. When I got home, I took off my shoes and I sat in the couch to read quietly the interview to her. The article said something about her career as a professional photographer, a painter and a writer. I could not believe all the goals she has reached, I felt so happy for her. I had to talk to her whatever it cost. I read in the magazine that she was going to mount an exhibition of artistic photography in a gallery near central park.

Like matter of magic I found her phone number in an old note, inside a box in which a had some silly stuffs from the time when I was young, and I called her that night hoping that she wanted to speak with me, but I was wrong. she answered the phone, and said hi it's lauren, who's call?, in that moment I realized I did not had anything to say to her, in my mind was an space blank. She repeated, hello? Is somebody there?, her deep rough voice resounded inside my head over and over again. I could only emit a sigh, and she ended the call. I took a deep breath and I called her again, with an angrily voice she answered, hello? I am tired of this jokes!, I said hi its Camila, how are you?... she stayed quiet for a second and then said, please don't call me again. I don't want to hear a word about you, so, bye. I don't know why but all the feelings I had for her one time, were back again, and I felt really bad. My heart was breaking while listen her rough voice saying those horrible words. That night I cried for her again as I used to do years ago. My poor boyfriend came back from his work and got asleep besides me in the bed. He didn't know why I was crying but he hugged me anyway. The morning after the call, I woke up and I went to the bathroom, took a shower and then went to the kitchen to make some coffee, for my surprised my boyfriend was there, sat in one of the chairs reading the magazine that I had bought yesterday, he raised her look and said good morning, can you explain me why you bought this shit of magazine? and made a tiny smile. I shrugged and said, I like it. I don't know. I thought he is not going to say anything about last night but then he said it, why you were crying honey?, I really didn't wanted to answer that questions, I didn't have anything to say. It was easy actually , I was still in love with her and I realized of that yesterday, but I couldn't say that to him, he had been so good to me when I was a lonely girl with no dreams, no family and no money. And he is here, after all these years, supporting me. So, I said I remembered an old friend. He believed me but I felt so bad.

I went to work later that day, I can't lie, the whole day I had been thinking about her. I came back from my thoughts when my friend Ally called to me.I agreed to hang out with her later in a cafe near his office. I had a really nice conversation with my old friend, but like a true friend noticed that something wasn't right, she asked me several times but getting no answer, until the last time she asked me. I fell crying, I could see my tears rolling from my cheeks, hitting the floor with all my heart in every drop. In between sobs I was able to say I love her, I never stopped to love her, I don't know how to recover her. Ally hugged me, and told me that everything is going to be okay, and took me home. We talked for hours and I told all the story. she said me wisely to talk first with my boyfriend and then when I am single, I could make a move to her.