Us Against The Law (Kellic) (boyxboy)

What If's

One more week.

I had to keep telling myself that. One more week until Vic comes back. I've been having this horrible case of paranoia though. Since he left, I kept thinking the worst. What if he's found someone else? What if he's been with someone else this entire time? What if he's left the country and left me to fend for myself and our baby? What if he comes back and realizes he doesn't want me?

There were so many what if's, and if any of them were gonna happen...I didn't want to know. Jack keeps telling me not to worry, but I can't fucking help it. Back when I was with Matty, I never had to worry about any of that stuff. We both needed each other, we were both young and we thought we were this unstoppable young duo that no one could ever beat. We had a love where anyone who looked at it would be jealous. We were so confident in our future together that...we never stopped to wonder what would happen if we were apart, that something bad could happen. If it turned out we weren't indestructible...we never thought it through.

Now though, I think everything through. I can't afford to leave any possibilities out anymore. I couldn't trust the world or anyone else anymore. But I had started to trust Vic. I guess him leaving just has me re-living the past a bit. There were other what if's that kept entering my mind...the really bad ones, and everytime I felt one coming on, I had to shoot it out of my head quick like the way a gun was shot.
.
.
.
"Someone's in deep thought."

I opened my eyes, facing the bare ceiling. I hadn't even noticed anyone was in my cell. I hadn't recognized the voice yet, but I didn't feel like looking either.

"No greeting for your boyfriend?" The voice spoke. At that, I shot up in bed and my eyes widened when I saw my Vic standing there. But he wasn't wearing his uniform. I jumped at him and embraced him in a bone crushing hug. He laughed lightly in my ear and where I'd usually feel my heart swell at the sound of his voice, I found my heart aching. It wasn't normal, it felt like heartbreak. What was happening? I opened my eyes as I looked over his shoulder, but my blood ran cold.

The room was turning dark and there was a mirror on the wall across from us. The beds were gone. I didn't move, but my grip loosened in Vic's hair, because that was just it, this wasn't Vic.

He had the same clothes on, an old flannel, beat up boots, and ripped jeans, but the figure was skinnier, and when I pulled away, I didn't see those brown eyes I had grown used to. All I could see was bright eyes, pale skin, and ginger hair.

I backed up, in shock against the wall. No, no, this isn't possible.

"Ma-Matty?" My voice shook as I spoke and he came closer, tears in his eyes.

"You've forgotten about me, haven't you?" He whispered. My heart broke. His voice was just the same. He looked just like he did when we were 17.

"What? N-No...no, how could I forget you? Why would you say that?" I stepped closer to him, wanting to touch him, see if this was real even though it possibly couldn't be. But he stepped back.

"I thought you loved me!" He screamed. "You love him now! You love him! You love him!"

A ringing became a menacing one in my ear, louder and louder as he screamed over and over again that I loved Vic and had forgotten about him. I covered my ears, trying to block it all out but the room shook and I fell back to the floor. My hands became wet and I took them away from my ears, fresh blood covering them and I cried when I couldn't hear his voice anymore. The ringing was the only thing left in my ears, Matty kept yelling, but it was all silent for me.

The walls began to crumble around me and I reached out for Matty. I felt myself scream at him, but I wasn't sure what I was saying. As I reached out and finally touched him, he evaporated into black ash and smoke. A strong, sharp, gut-reeling pain hit my stomach and I shrieked, clutching my belly in my hands, falling to the floor. My pants felt soaked and when I looked down, I broke down, I sobbed and sobbed and screamed, blood pooling around me and my chest feeling heavy, I couldn't breathe.

"VIC! VIC!"

The mirror behind me broke and just as the ceiling began to collapse-
.
.
.
I sat up in bed, sweat running down my face, mixed with hot tears and I didn't realize I had been screaming until Austin shook me.

"Hey, you're okay, you're okay...it's okay. Everything's okay."

I looked at him and couldn't stop the new wave of tears from spilling. He secured me in his arms, sitting on the bed with me. I brought a hand up to my belly and breathed in and out slowly, relieved to know he was still okay.

"I m-miss him so mu-much...Austin, I miss him s-so much." I sobbed, my eyes shut, my hand clutching tightly to his shirt.

"Vic? He'll be back really soon, I promise." Austin murmured.

I shook my head, my chest heaving. "M-Matty...I-I miss Matty..."

He didn't say anything. Why would he? He didn't know Matty, nobody knew about him. Only Vic and Jack knew. But nobody else did.

What if Matty's looking down at me and he's angry that I've tried moving on?

I calmed down after a while, Austin already asleep again, but still holding me as I stayed cuddled into him on m bed.

Maybe this is why I can't tell Vic I love him yet...maybe it's because of Matty.

I don't want to forget him.

A/N: I'm going to the LGBT prom tomorrow night with my best friend! So excited! Tell me what you thought about the chapter!