Us Against The Law (Kellic) (boyxboy)

Guilt

A/N: May get a little triggering?
And the song is literally just because I'm obsessed and it's sad and this chaps a little sad.

Today's the big day. I've been flirting with Barakat all week, and people have been commenting on me 'gaining weight' so I had to do this now. I can't wait any longer, the plan won't work if I do.

I was surprised to find out that Barakat actually did like me. Like, he liked me liked me. It was sickening on my part to do, cause yea, he's disgusting and stupid, but I don't want to have to get him thrown in prison. I'm stringing him along so that my boyfriend doesn't go to prison, and the poor guy actually has feelings for me.

There's all sorts of feelings I'm being filled with, honestly. But here I am, walking with Barakat to the closet so that I can seduce him into having sex with me. Vic doesn't know about all of this, the boys don't want me saying anything 'till after in case Vic gets pissed and ruins the plan. I've been really cautious around him and I've also been a little distant. I don't deserve his affection and attention right now, so I just feel guilty whenever he tries to kiss me or something.

Barakat closed the door behind us like usual. I had slowly done more things with him, which is really only kissing. Making out. It's disgusting, and it makes my skin crawl when he touches me, but I have to do this.

He leaned forward and slowly but surely, his lips latched to mine. His arms snug around my waist. I felt my chest tighten, but whenever I kissed him I just tried imagining that I was kissing Vic. It was hard though, because he had stubble, and everytime he moved his head, I could feel it rub against my skin.

I bought a shaky hand up to chest and started undoing the buttons on his shirt. He pulled away, looking at me cautiously as I got his shirt all the way off. I only had ten minutes to get us to where we needed to be, just in time for the guys to come in here with Lazara.

"What are you doing?" He asked. I ignored him and started kissing down his chest, my eyes shut. I palmed him through his jeans slowly. "Woah, woah, hey sweets, I know I'm sexy, but.."

"Please." I whispered, my hand going down his pants and past his boxers. I took a hold of his length and moved my hand slow. He moaned lowly by my ear. "Please baby, I want you. I'm so horny for you."

But I really wasnt, I wasn't even hard, and my heart was about ready to jump out of my chest. I kind of hoped it would have taken longer for him to agree, so I could put it off longer, but he was quick. He was thinking with his dick and he soon had me pinned to the wall, kissing my neck with his pants now at his ankles. I swallowed hard, my eyes watered, and he finally had his hand down my pants. I wanted to push him away, tell him to stop, but I couldn't.

"You like that, baby?" He whispered, rubbing me faster. And then I could feel myself start to get hard, I shook my head, feeling like my body had betrayed me.

"Just fuck me." I spat. I was trying to breathe. This would be over soon and I needed him to hurry so that we'd get caught at the right point.

And he definitely didn't hesitate. I shut my eyes and tried to block his noises out as much as I could while he fucked me from behind. What bought me back was a deep groan from him and the sound of the door being opened as he came inside me. I wanted to barf.

"Awh! God, Barakat, what the fuck?!" Lazara's voice boomed through my ears. Barakat didn't stop moving till he finished, making weird noises all the while.

"It's not what it looks like." Barakat says weakly.

"It looks like rape to me!" I heard Jack say. Barakat pulled out of me and did his pants up quick.

Everything was a little fuzzy for me after that. I mentally blocked everything out and remember being walked to Lazara's office, everyone's voices sounded muffled. I didn't think I was gonna feel like this after that. Why did I feel like this? I shouldn't be taking it this badly.

•-•

"Baby, what's wrong? Talk to me." Vic spoke softly. He was in my cell with me, I had been crying silently for about and hour and Austin was getting way too worried about me. He had Vic come here to check on me. He didn't know what I had done. He didn't know that I had just cheated on him with scum.

Why did it hurt so much to lie to him? I haven't cared about someone so much since Matty.

I shook my head, not saying anything.

"This isn't good for the baby, Kell. Please, tell me what I can do." He whispered, kissing my cheek.

"Hate me." I whispered, hiccuping, the warm tears falling quicker.

"Hate you? Baby, I will never hate you. Why would you want that, hu?"

I looked up at him trough wet lashes. "I fucked Barakat in the supply closet."

Vic's face fell and he didn't tear his eyes away from mine. He didn't say anything, so I took my chance to explain things before he got mad.

"Jack...he and my uncle, they thought I-I should do it...so, so that y-you wouldn't go to p-prison and we, we got Lazara, the warden, to, to catch us...he saw us, Vic. He's gonna be blamed for this, not you. A-And I know that's not, that's not a valid excuse for cheating on you...but...It was my only choice, the only way we'd get out of this mess. I...you have to know I'm sorry, Vic." I pleaded, my crying wasn't quiet anymore and my shoulders shook as I watched his face go from betrayed, to disappointed, to disgusted.

I couldn't handle that from him right now. "Vic, say something. P-Please?"

When he didn't say anything, my heart completely stopped. "God, you hate me."

"I don't hate you..." He mumbled immediately. He got up, and away from me. "I can't...I can't do this..."

"If you don't hate me then why are you leaving?! I had to do it!" I screamed. I knew I had to keep it quiet but I was just so pissed. I was angry at myself. This was nobody's fault, I'm the one who went through with it. It was me. I just wanted him to stay, I needed him right now. I wanted to blow my own brains out.

"Because I fucking lo-..." He sighed, looking angry, as he hit the metal bars behind him. "I just got hurt by the one person I care about most in this world. That's why." He spat.

I didn't say anything, and he left the cell. Austin came to me, a hand on my shoulder.

"Please don't touch me." I whispered. And I headed back to my bed, wanting nothing more but to rest my eyes and disintegrate my thoughts.

A/N: What'd you think? I'm not sure of I'm too confident in this chapter, woops. I'm also in the process of writing a one-shot right now and I'm really excited about it alsksiebkdfp