Question asked by Anonymous:
I feel out of place within our (friend) group. I have this best friend who you know, gets the most of attention from my friends and classmates, even if she denies it. She's the person who's mostly talked to. And I just feel lonely, unwanted, and well, of course jealous of her. So, is there any advice you can give me besides confronting her?
A. You're definitely not alone on this, since I myself have I been in similar situations and know many people who feel the same way. My advice to you would be this: right now, it sounds like your best friend is the hero of the story and you're the sidekick. Don't let that be. By this, I don't in any way mean that you have to bring her down, but rather, what I mean is that you have to carve out a name for yourself, you know? I'm sure that there are a lot of things you're better at than her. Focus on that. Take part in more school activities. Strive to be better than her. There's this guy I know who felt his best friend was better than him. So, out of determination, he started taking part more actively in school programs and stuff like that. Today, people know him more than his best friend. He carved out a niche for himself, and I suggest you do the same.
You should also try making new friends; friends that appreciate you more than your current friend group. In my opinion, it's not fair that your friends give your best friend a lot of attention and neglect you. Find and hang out with people who appreciate you more, you'll feel so much better. If your current friend group makes you feel sad and left out, then think about this: are they really worth it?
Thirdly, stop comparing yourself to her. This is a mistake a lot of us make. We compare ourselves to others and in the process, our self-esteem just keeps decreasing. Just because she gets more attention than you do, doesn't mean that she's superior to you. Stop comparing yourself to her; it'll only make you feel worse.
I really hope this helped! I get exactly how you feel. Stay strong, and remember that you are loved. Don't let your self-esteem depend upon your best friend. You are better than that.
Please feel free to talk to us if you need to!
All the love,
-The ProjectNobody Team
