Question by Anonymous: Ever since I was young I've been a quiet and kinda shy and introverted person (not all introverts are shy but i am ) and its because i have (at least I'm positive that I have) social anxiety and trust issues. I don't talk at all during classes- i mean i do. but only when someone talks to me or asks me. I guess thats why some people dont take me seriously and some even go far by making fun of me bec of just for that reason..? I mean, its my fault for being to anxious and scared to face them but idk. When I'm outside in public (esp school) my inner spirit just freezes up and anxiety just built up inside me. Im carefree and feel safe around my friends but when im in a new environment there goes anxiety. In my upcoming new school year im moving to a new school, i personally asked my parents for it. I really think its time for me to step out of my own bubble and at least loosen up at least little of my anxiety. But idk. Right now, that day is really getting close and i really feel nervous. I checked out that new school group page and the kids there look so cool and way beyond my level. I wanted to get new friends too but they seem like they already have a set of friends.
A. The first thing is to realize that what you're feeling is perfectly alright. A lot of people when they have social anxiety or feel shy think that there's something terribly wrong with them. There's nothing wrong with being shy; and you don't have to change yourself for anyone. It's okay if you don't like talking to anyone. People who judge or make fun of you for that reason are just immature assholes.
Now, let's focus on the main thing here: you moving to your new school. I personally think that it's a great idea, because this will help you come out of your shell a bit. Don't think about fitting in with the kids at your new school. A mantra I use in situations like these is 'Hope for the best, expect the worst.' Stay positive and believe that your new school is going to be way better than your previous one. But, don't expect too much. (Okay, I know that that didn't really make any sense, but I hope you get what I mean).
Also, just because you've checked out their Facebook pages and saw some pictures where they look cool, doesn't actually mean that they're like that in real life. I mean, there are people who look really nice and pretty in photos but when it comes to real life, they end up being really rude and obnoxious people. Don't jump to conclusions based on a few photos and posts.
Another thing to remember is that you're not alone. There might be a couple of new kids joining along with you. Or there maybe a few kids who've been there a while, but haven't really found any good friends to hang out with. Who knows, maybe some of the so-called 'cool kids' at your new school may be people who are secretly shy and anxious. Don't panic over whether you're going to make friends or not. Whatever happens, trust me, after a couple of weeks at the school, you WILL make friends. So, it's alright if you don't make friends the very first day itself.
You should also appreciate yourself on the fact that you yourself made the decision to switch schools. This means that you're bold enough and willing to try new things and break out of your comfort zone. That is a very brave move from your part. You weren't afraid of leaving behind your old friends and switching over to new ones. You made this decision yourself. Appreciate and love that about yourself because trust me, this is a very brave move. I don't think I could have made this decision myself.
If you're comfortable with it, try starting conversations with people. Don't worry about what they'll think about you. However, don't force yourself. If you really think you can't start a conversation, then that's okay.
Lastly, remember that all this anxiety and nervousness only makes you stronger. I know it sounds cliche, but when you get older and step out into the real world, all these experiences you've had when you were younger are going to help you. Also, I don't know if you believe in this but everything happens for a reason. You're put in this new school for a reason. You wouldn't be put here if you couldn't handle it.
Try to stay calm and relaxed and don't worry. And don't forget them main reason you're at school: it's not to just make friends and get along, but it's to educate and better yourself. So focus on that. Everything will go on just as it's supposed to!
All the best!
Love,
-The ProjectNobody Team
