Sweaty Cocks! I'm back again. In a whole new page. Look at that. Magical. Just like our Ranger boy over yonder. The Ranger I shall name "Kai". That's very fitting. It's like Asian but also like... not... i mean I knew a Kai once... and he wasn't... Asian... yeah. Anyhoo! Kai idolised the knights of the realm. Like, they protected EVERYONE just with their sword, shield, bravery, teamwork, and all that other bullshit. That's awesome, right? Yet... he didn't feel they were doing it correctly per say. They were all too formal with their heavy armor and strict codes and such. So he took it upon himself to try and make the world a better place. Or his village... at least for now. He basically became a vigilante before they existed. He took an old robe from under his family cottage, some leather garments used for handywork, and an old cutting knife, before setting out into the forest to hunt some animals. I mean, he had to start somewhere. But turns out 14 year old boy doesn't beat crazy fast deer and/or hare. Fortunately for our lad, one of the deers had already been injured at the calf. This was his chance. Immediately, his hunting senses kicked in, and he rushed after the "beast"; holding his weapon in one hand while swatting plants and branches out of his path with the other.
However, the deer began to pick up speed itself and began running for it's life. But this kid was strong, fast and agile. I told you we were going to follow a badass didn't I? He isn't some lucky ass douche who is son to a great hero he never met or whatever. His dad was a builder, nothing more. But due to being an only child whose mom died at childbirth, (Ok. i will use THAT cop out. But c'mon it's Middle Earth! People die all the time...) he ended up doing a lot of manual labor as a child. He was never forced. He just liked to help his dad out. Although of course, this lead into him growing up to be one heck of a buff boy. Even though he didn't know it (sorta like Hajime no Ippo). Anyway, vaulting over a fallen log with great agility, he managed to chiv that damn deer right in it's ass and drag it's head towards him before finishing off the wild animal. Pretty grim, but fuck it. Come at me PETA.
He then knelt down to do the next logical step and skin the deer. However, a large crunch of leaves and branches cut his concentration. He perched his head upwards to find two large, groggily-looking knights wearing dirty, worn-out armor. Clearly a pair of slackers like you find in Game of Thrones all too often.
"Look at this little faggot 'ere" said the fatter one, kneeling down to meet eye level with our young prodigy.
"Tryin' to be tough like his old pap I assume" Bellowed to uglier one, he seemed to find this display quite funny.
The fatty met eyes with Kai and said "C'mere little lad. Give us ya deer and we'll whip up a little feast. Hunting 'ain't no sport for a youngling like you," He chuckled to himself. What a sack of shit.
"How about you go fuck yourself!?" Responded Kai, staring coldly into the fat fuck's eyes.
"HaHa! We caught a fighter 'ere didn't we Joff?" exclaimed the clearly more laughable fellow to his friend.
Displease with his buddy behind him, "Joff" grabbed our boy by the chin, "Look here you little shit! You're gonna give us that game of yours and run back to your mommy so we can dine, or you can get my dagger shoved up your arse instead!" He unsheathed a rusty looking knife from his pouch and pointed it towards Kai's throat.
"I'm more of a giver, not a taker," Kai took his own kitchen knife from his belt, grabbed the old man's attacking wrist, then proceeded to bend the man over and shove his knife right up the dude's ass.
"AHHH! You fuck!" exclaimed the man currently getting rammed by a child.
At this point, his friend took out his sword and grabbed Kai by the scruff of the neck. "Alright, fucker. Time to end your short, miserable life."
"Likewise," Kai kicked the douchebag is his stomach; releasing his grip and sending him flying into a tree. He then kicked his own knife further up the other butt-fucker's arse, grabbed the guy's rusty, shittier knife and sprinted towards his next victim.
"I'll gut you..." The groggy cunt said as he stood up and prepared his blade. But, before he could even stretch his legs, he was sent pummeling back into the tree with a sharp knee to the face. Spinning around, Kai the jammed the crappy knife into the side of the man's neck. It got the job done at least.
"You think I haven't killed before, asshat?" The man slumped to the ground as Kai let go of the knife's hilt. Kai then turned to see Joff slumping over, crying and quivering.
"Asses aren't made for this.. arghhh..." He squealed with tears in his eyes.
"Aww, poor baba. Lemme make it feel all better..." Kai yanked his knife out of the fucker's a-hole but before the guy could do so much as gasp for air, the knife got shoved straight through the back of his head.
"You made my knife all dirty, you sack of shit!" Kai stated as he forcefully pulled his knife out of the late Joff's cranium and cleaned it with the man's sleeve while he fell to the ground.
Damn. Did i create a psychopath? Nah, i'll just give him some shitty back story.
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