High Steaks: A Bjorn Trilogeé Adventure

Chapter 13: Bjorn + Abe

Fifteen hours later.

Bjorn's GPS goes off telling him that he has reached his destination, Fauxsanto Farms. He gets out of his car and looks around, not much around here but a dirt road being blocked by a locked gate. Bjorn takes out his fish gun and shoots off the lock. He'll repay the farmer if it turns out this isn't the right place.

Bjorn proceeds down the dirt road, but sees nothing but large swaths of farmland and cows grazing, plus plenty of 'danger, do not enter' signs. Some of the buildings look like they were just burnt down, plumes of gray smoke can be seen from a distance.

After about twenty minutes of slowly driving down the road, Bjorn notices something. A man is running towards him, yelling like a maniac. Then a shot rings out, the man falls to the ground. Bjorn looks beyond the dying man and sees someone holding an M16 rifle with a grenade launcher attached to the bottom of it. Tall and thin, this guy looked like he meant business. Taping the windshield of his Utopian Turtletop Service Car, Bjorn expands the viewscreen, transforming the windshield into a high powered pair of binoculars.

"Increase resolution," he said as it zoomed in and came into focus.

Slicked back hair, finely tailored suit, thin moustache. It was Abe Adguy! He looked exactly like the man in his 'Don Quixote in Space' hallucinations. Interesting.

Shifting into high gear, Bjorn cut the wheel to the right and stepped on the gas as hard as possible. The wheels initially spun out in the dirt, but then took off like lightening directly towards Abe.

"Get out of my dreams ... and under my car!" Bjorn said through gritted teeth, he suddenly thought it odd that he was quoting Billy Ocean for no apparent reason.

Abe, unperturbed, lifted his automatic rifle and started firing directly at Bjorn's car, which was luckily bullet proof. Barreling down the rocky road at almost 100 miles per hour, Bjorn barely had time to react as he saw Abe reaching underneath to the M203 grenade launcher.

"Oh nuts" said Bjorn, hoping that would not be his last words. He reached next to his drivers' seat and released the seat ejector switch. The roof opened up and the air compressed seat launcher sent Bjorn twenty feet into the air.

Abe shot his grenade directly underneath the speeding car, which exploded into the dirt. The car flipped over onto its side in a fiery explosion as it slid past Abe, who didn't even blink as the wreckage missed him by a few feet.

Bjorn was half way up into the air, he waited for the backup rocket launchers to kick-in which would send him and the car seat higher up into the air. The car seat would then release its parachute and he would drift gently down to Earth and out of harm's way. This was, in theory, what was supposed to happen. It didn't. The rockets never activated and no parachute was released. Bjorn went up into the sky and flew backwards hitting the ground hard. Still strapped into the car seat, he tried to get his body free. The belt buckle was stuck.

On his back with his feet dangling in the air, Bjorn cocked his head left and right, attempting to see his attacker. In desperation, he took out his fish gun and began to shoot wildly, not really having a great view of what was in front of him. However, he had a very fine view of the sky, which was very nice that day.

Abe walked towards Bjorn and removed a trench knife from his waist band.

"Jolly good show, not bad at all for a mere copy, not bad at all," Abe said in his British accent.

Bjorn attempted to get one good shot in. He squeezed the trigger and hoped for the best. But Abe simply deflected the bullet with the swing of his trench knife. "How the hell is that possible?" thought Bjorn. This guy was really good.