The boyfriend my friends paid for - REVISED

Chapter 13 - A Walk On The Beach

Chapter 13 – A Walk On The Beach

-Brooklyn-

He might have looked sorry but then he looked like he wanted to go out with me on Friday and that was all a lie. It was so hard to keep up with boys that on the, not so long, walk home from school I actually considered turning lesbian, just so I wouldn’t have to deal with them, but then after realising that I didn’t find women at all attractive and that I would still have to deal with boys in other places I gave up on that idea. Dylan had been so nice to me today but I didn’t want to think about him too much, because I knew that if I lingered on that subject for just a little while longer my feelings towards him would turn into something more than friendship, and although I hated her for what she’d done I knew how Hanna felt about him and how he felt about her and even though they weren’t going out they didn’t deserve me trying to put the moves on him. 

Wednesday nights were by far my most boring night of the week and as I had nothing better to do I decided to do something I never thought I'd do: Revision. I got home to find an empty house; mum was at work as usual the cleaners had left and even though Dallas was back from university for the week had gone paintballing and to the cinema with his friends, which meant that yet again I was all alone in this big empty house. Part of me wanted to text one of the girls to ask them if they fancied a night in with some films and take-away but then I remembered my argument with Hanna and decided that maybe some alone time might be good for me.  I sat and watched a film for a while, but then I got bored, so I listened to some music, but then I got bored, so I did some dance, but then I got bored, so I decided that as mum and Dallas weren’t going to be back for hours that I would take a walk down to the beach. The idea was that it would give me some time to be alone with my thoughts and really think about what I was going to do with my life. But as you’ve probably guessed, Nothing in my life is ever that simple.

~*~

I don’t know whether he was waiting there for me on a whim because I'd once told him that when I'm upset or confused I like to go to the beach or whether he just wanted a walk on the beach too but whatever his reason for being there I can assure you he would soon wish he wasn’t.

When I first spotted Samson’s short black hair and familiar jumper I wanted to run as fast as I could back home but then I realised, I had just as much right to be here as he did but if he tried to talk to me I might kill him.

When I got closer I put my hood up in a pathetic attempt to disguise my identity but just as I did Samson raised his head and looked straight at me. “Brook, I knew you’d come eventually. I really want to talk to you, can I walk with you?”

“It depends on whether you want a slap round the face or not?” it blurted out of my mouth before I had a chance to stop it but I wasn’t really sorry it had I just wish I’d been a bit meaner.

“Well I'd rather not, but if that’s what it takes then I guess I could cope.” Samson stood up with a groan, brushed himself off and began to walk towards me. although my hands were still in my pockets I was clenching them into fists ready to swing at him. He walked slowly towards he with his hands up either side of his face and his head cowering.

“Samson, I WILL hit you if you come any closer to me.” I really wanted to walk away but something kept me there, like Samson had seen me coming and put superglue on the sand, my legs just didn’t want to move even though my brain was screaming at them.

“OK that’s fine I can deal with this distance as long as you can hear me?” he lowered his arms but stayed exactly where he was as if he could see my fist through my hoodie pocket. I really wanted to turn around and walk in the opposite direction but the beach was private the other side of the path I’d come through and I really wanted my walk on the beach now. So the only option was to walk straight past him, but could I really cope with being that close to him after everything he’d done to me. We stood there in an awkward silence for a few moments before Samson began to talk again. “I can’t get you off my mind Brook, I don’t know why but I even came down here to try and work it out. I don’t know what to think about you and I don’t know how you feel about me I just really need you to give me some answers?” he stopped talking, went to move towards me but before he could put his foot back down on the golden sand I gave him a look that said ‘don’t even think about it’ and he took a step back, his deep chestnut brown eyes still visible even though the sun was setting over the sea.

“What do you want to hear Samson?” I began to shout even though I'd promised myself I wouldn’t let him get to me anymore. “how I fell so deeply in love with you that my whole life revolved around you? How I used to dream about us being together every night? How I was so totally ecstatic when you asked me out that I actually fell over? Or, and here’s the real kicker, how you broke my heart into a million pieces?” and now I was doing the other thing I swore never to do in front of Samson, cry.

He just stood there speechless and watched me cry for a moment until I couldn’t take it anymore. “Samson I have to go now I can’t be doing this anymore.” I took my now unclenched hand out of my pocket to tuck a piece of wavy hair behind my ear and whip away a tear from my cheek. I looked up at a still frozen and speechless Samson and decided that I was just going to have to brave walking past him. I did toy with the idea of deliberately walking as far around him as I could, but then realises that I wasn’t 6 and this wasn’t some primary school argument over a crayon.

I began walking and as I got closer and closer to Samson I suddenly had bad feelings about the situation I found myself in but it was too late to turn around now. He still hadn’t moved but I was now nearly next to him and he was slightly worrying me with his statue like posture. suddenly before I had a chance to object I felt myself being pulled into a rough embrace and something that seemed so far away just a week ago, so possible 2 days ago and up until now so impossibly horrible was happening without me even having a say. But when have I ever had a say in my own life?

~*~

I don’t know how long it had taken me to realise what was going on but it was too long. My eyes were still open with shook and my lips were still pressed firmly against Samson’s. I would have tried to move if it wasn’t for the fact that he had two very strong arms, one griping me around the waist and the other on the back of my head stopping me pulling away. After a few seconds he let me go and as I was so unsteady on my feet because of the way he’d pulled me in, I stumbled back a few steps. He didn’t move but just stood there with his familiar cheeky grin spreading like a disease across his face, only this time it wasn’t going to make me smile too. Before I'd even had a chance to stop myself, not that I'd wanted to its just nice to fell you have a little control over your own body, I was walking the short distance between us and raising my hand to his face.

I'd slapped him twice and although I wanted to do it a third there was already a hefty tomato red hand print appearing on his face, so before I lost control completely I put my hands back in my pocket, turned around and walked back towards my house. But the wired thing was, even though he was there, even though he’d dare talk to me and even though he’d just given me my first kiss in 4 years, the only thing I was thinking about was how angry I was at not getting my walk on the beach.