I Constantly Thank God for Esteban(P!ATD, TOP, & FOB Brallon, Peterick, Joshler)

Lying is the most fun a Brendon Can have without taking his clothes off.

It was 2am at the local Weigels, the neon lights still burning bright. The convenience store was usually deserted aside from the clerk at this hour. However, this night the store had 2 customers wandering through the isles. They were teenage boys that had come in together. The clerk kept a eye on them, one could never be too careful when working a night shift, especially when the customers looked like the breed to steal.  They stumbled across the store picking up various food items piling them in their arms. This technique was not doing them well considering the amount of alcohol and weed in their systems causing them to sway and drop their contents every other minute. The clerk questioned if they were actually of age to drink. The shorter of the 2 looked about 14 whilst the semi taller one could maybe be 16 years old.

"Is it gay to suck your own dick?" The smaller one asked. He smelled of stale cigarettes poorly masked in cheap women's perfume. He was attractive but would be considered as a pretty boy not a handsome man. His outfit didn't help him look any more masculine. His tight leather pants slowly giving him a wedge and his stained topman shirt he thrifted that was barely covering him. He was wearing it as you would wear a shaw, it resting on the inner parts of his elbows, his hairless chest fully exposed.

"Does it matter Brendon? You are gay." The other said. This boy looked more sterotypically masculine but not by much and with an air of uncomfortableness about him. His basket ball shorts looked too big for his tiny legs and his shirt was 2 sizes too big. His red beanie pulled so far down you could barely see his eyes. He was like a sad puppy trying to look cool but not masking his insecurities well, just like the perfume didn't mask the cigarettes.

"Okay Tyler, if I was a straight man would it be considered gay?" Brendon laughed his eyes lids drooping due to how fucked up he was at the moment.

"Impossible to answer because you could never be straight." Tylers voice cracked. He was staring intensely at a frozen burrito considering the idea of eating it. It all depended on how much he hated himself, no one who eats a frozen convenience store burrito because they are content with life. Burritos just equaled self loathing and painful morning shits. 

He got the burrito, he was gonna feel awful in the morning anyway. 

"You didn't even bring up the judgement of me actually attempting to pull off this gay feat of sucking my dong." Brendon slurred as he wondered if they sold bacon here.

"I tend not to be surprised about what comes out of your mouth anymore." Tyler laughed.

They continued their food rampage.

"Okay but I bet Joe has successfully sucked his own dick." Brendon giggled, he dropped a packet of mini doughnuts in the possess. He didn't even notice and continued to browse.

" I would bet my whole life that Joe has attempted this." Tyler half smiled picking up the abandoned mini doughnuts. 

They headed up to the register dumping their junk food on the counter in front of the middle aged lady who was the salty person unlucky enough to have to work the night shift

"We also need a pack of camel blue." Tyler timidly mumbled "Please." He added.

"ID?" The clerk asked. Brendon studied her tacky blue eye shadow choice. He could tell she tried hard at it but he didn't understand that if you were gonna try that hard why not use eye shadow in a color that doesn't equal a hooker.

Tyler pulled out his wallet and handing his ID to the woman. The woman was shocked that he was actually old enough to buy the cigarettes. She made sure it wasn't fake. He was also only 18 so her pondering about the drinking was solved. She didn't blame them for wanting to get drunk, do it while you still are able to handle hangovers better.