Write Better: Tips and tricks

Ways to start a sentence

[written on request; if anyone else has any requests, feel free to send them my way!]

When I'm reviewing work, one of my frequent comments  on Wattpad (and off it, believe it or not!) goes something like this:

"A lot of your sentences sound robotic/choppy/like a list/etc. You're using a ton of pronouns and/or character names to start every sentence. Try varying the way you start your sentences to help the story flow."

Sometimes it isn't pronouns that take center stage. Sometimes I see a lot of  "ADVERB-LY, sentence." and "GERUND-ING, sentence." in a row. The same sort of advice applies. If you do it a lot, it starts to get noticeable and you may benefit from a change-up.

But that's not usually the issue, so I'm focusing on what I'm constantly pointing out.

Let's go over a basic note first.

PRONOUNS ARE FANTASTIC AND ESSENTIAL TO STORYTELLING. You're going to use them. You're going to need them. Just be mindful of where you put them.

Here are the pronouns I'm almost always referring to:

He

She

It

They

We

I

[There are many more types of pronouns, but these tend to be the problematic ones.]

Here is the problem I'm almost always referring to: Using the same pronoun too many times in a row at the start of your sentences.

For example:

Susan grabbed her bag off the counter. She finished her orange juice and said goodbye. She didn't want to be late for school. She knew her friends would be waiting for her. She couldn't wait to see them. She had a lot to tell them.

"Stay safe," Mom said.

"I will," she said. She shut the door.

Not horrible, right? You won't be winning awards for this exchange, but it's serviceable. Technically there isn't anything wrong with how the seven she's are used. In some circumstances, you might even leave that as-is! But multiply that down an entire chapter, or change it to "I" (which makes 9 "I"pronouns vs 7 "she") and all of a sudden things start getting tiresome.

That's the kind of repetition I'm talking about today.  You encounter it a lot with writers who haven't found their footing yet, less so with the seasoned pros.

Here are some common results of beginning most sentences in the same way:

1. People might say your sentences all sound the same/basic.

2. Your action scene where Jessie slays a Balrog sounds the same as her school morning which sounds the same as her sorrow at her Dad's funeral.

3. Filtering may also be an issue. By changing up your sentences, this can quietly remove some [ex. 'She saw the bucket sitting on the shelf' becomes 'The bucket sat on the shelf'].