My Face Shouldn't Matter (Jesper x Wylan)

Wylan

Ever since returning back to Kerch, Jesper's childish personality diminished, leaving him sullen and empty. No longer did he tease Wylan about his flute playing or his lack in manliness, he just stood there, far away from everyone...

"Hey" Wylan began, walking towards Jesper. They were in the Slats' gambling room, most of the Dregs were here gambling, but Jesper hadn't made a single bet. Wylan had only been standing a few feet away from Jesper, yet when he spoke, Jesper was still surprised. Jesper looked up from the very floor he had been staring at, when he caught hold of Wylan's face, his own looked hurt, and he began looking down at the floor again. Wylan stopped just a foot away from him, observing the new Jesper in front of him. 

"What is it?" Jesper said quietly, almost inaudibly, he still didn't look up from the floor. Wylan stood there, unable to come up with something to say, the 'hey' was just random, a way to have a reason to talk to Jesper and walk towards him. Now it seems that he needs a better one. He was just used to Jesper always having something to say, a joke to crack, or a remark to shoot back--the silence from him was disturbing. 

"I just--uh--wanted to talk to you" Wylan stammered, looking away from Jesper who was still probably looking at the floor. "I wanted to talk to you about--"

"I don't  want to talk" Jesper said gravely. Wylan turned his head, and Jesper was looking right back at him. His light gray eyes looked stormy in the dim light of the Slat, maybe a little watery too. 

"I know you're upset about the mission, and I can't sweetened it because it was your fault Pekkins found us, but it wasn't your fault for Inej's capture. That was my fathers fault for lying to us." Wylan said, actually feeling a little happier about the last part. His father lied about the exchange, yes, but at least now he knows the truth about how he feels. Even if he hadn't said anything, the letters sent to him--knowing that he couldn't read, and the his lack of remorse upon destroying the boat that him and Nina were supposedly on is proof enough of his fathers "love".

***

Jan Van Eck sat on the stool next Wylan as he tried to read The Diminishing Act , a beautiful epic by the infamous Tykle Minshin. Wylan had memorized most of the epic but that wasn't what his father wanted to hear. He wanted Wylan to read the epic. The expensive tutors his father brought didn't help, no matter who's method, Wylan couldn't understand a single word on the page. He wasn't stupid in any way, he knew his alphabet,  could easily make bombs, solve algebraic equations, and figure out patterns, but when it came to placing letters together and forming words upon the page, he couldn't understand a single thing.

In the beginning his father was patient with him. Helping him out every time he butchered a word, but his patience grew thin around the time Wylan was nine. He stopped hiring tutors and tried to teach Wylan how to read himself. Every mistake equaled a beating--physically, verbally, and even mentally. When Wylan was ten years old, his father stopped trying. Around that time he began to shun Wylan, keeping him the dark about everything; he no longer took him on business trips or social gatherings, no longer paid for the tutors of different subjects, Wylan's father no longer acknowledged him as his son. He ignored the fact of Wylans raw talent in music, math, and demolition. Around fourteen years old, Wylan left his father to find people that wouldn't care about his "affliction".

***

"I understand that" Jesper whispered, making Wyaln have to lean in closer to hear him, "But if I had just kept my mouth shut, the mission wouldn't have turned out the way it did"

"It wasn't your fault Jesper" Wylan said, a small reassuring smile forming on his face as Jesper looked up from the floor to him, "Kaz left Nina alone and she accidentally set of black protocol, that's what changed the entire mission. That had nothing to do with you."

"Yes it did!" Jesper snapped, his loud voice turning a few heads, he lowered his head and spoke in his quiet tone once more, "Kaz obviously did that to find Pekka Rollins."

Wylan looked away, there was nothing to say because Jesper was right. After the exchange failed and his father took Inej, Wylan had said that Jesper made a stupid mistake but it wasn't intended to hurt anyone, and it was true. Wylan knew by the Jesper followed Kaz's orders and how he was so close to Inej and Nina that he wouldn't betray the Dregs. Maybe Kaz saw it differently, maybe that's why Jesper still blamed himself.

"Thats not the only thing I'm upset at, you know" Jesper said a little louder, looking up and at Wylan. Wylan knew exactly what he was talking about. But what was done is done and unless Nina was still sane enough to fix it, he might be this way forever.

"I didn't think you would care" Wylan replied, looking directly at Jesper. "And I couldn't tell you because of Kaz's---"

"Shudap!" Jesper yelled, balling his fists. "I don't want to hear it!". Jesper pushed passed Wylan and left the Slat. Wylan was left in the Slat with the rest of the gambling Dregs, drinking, yelling, cursing, sometimes fighting. Usually Jesper would say something about Wylan getting new friends to preserve his innocence. Across the room, a cracked mirror sat on the wall, in the distance, he could see his reflection.

Well, he could see Kuwei's reflection.